Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Things I cry about

Tonight I was thinking about the fact that there are three things absolutely certain to make me cry.
Actually four.
Okay, five.
But that's it. Truth be told, I cry really easily since I had my children. I don't know if that is a hormonal thing, or the fact that everything in life seems more poignant and vulnerable and touching and tragic once you have children whom you love more than you can talk about without crying.

The reason I was thinking about things that make me cry is that Skyler does this totally heartbreakingly cute/sad thing after she's really been in trouble. And it makes me cry every time. Tonight's episode was about her throwing a conditioner bottle at Reed's head in the bathtub because I told her to give it back to him. (yes, I do have bath toys; they prefer conditioner bottles). She cried and wailed and carried on in her room (dripping wet). When she came back, I gave her a serious lecture about listening to mommy and not hurting little babies. I know my talks have registered when her her lower lip starts to take over and protrude out. Then the eyes fill with big, liquid tears. Then she says, in a quivering voice: "I'm going to try really hard to be good, Mom." That's when I start crying.

While we're at it, here are the other four things that make me cry every time.
1. A come-from-behind sports victory: Don't even get me started about those "Up-close and personal" spots they do for the Olympics. You know, the little Russian girl who is poverty-stricken and who has been doing gymnastics in a dirt-floor gymnasium with no heat or lights for 13 years and her family is all watching on a little black-and-white tv back in Russia. As soon as they pan back to her little face getting ready to mount the uneven bars, I'm grabbing for the tissues. If she wins? I'm done (and Sam is a real sports weeper too, God bless him.)

2. The running embrace: You know, like at the airport, when two people run to each other and embrace in a dramatic reunion. When I worked at Camp Runoia in Maine many summers ago, and the day came for the parents to come pick up their kids after a month apart, the campers all hung out on the lawn in front of the dining hall and the parents would park at the top of the hill, and when a family would appear on the hilltop, and the little camper would go running up, and the family would run down, and they would embrace and twirl around... I was a slobbering mess. I couldn't get it together. And this went on for about 6 hours.

By the way, combine the first two, and I'm absolutely hopeless... like when the Red Sox won the AL East after coming from behind, and Varitek (catcher) ran out to Papelbon (pitcher) and they hugged... You get it, right?

3. Seeing my dad on video: We don't have very much family video footage. We weren't a videotape family. But there are some wonderful moments on tape of my Dad at our wedding. During the ceremony, Sam and I each hugged our parents right before we said our vows. When I watch that video now (which I can only handle about once a year), and see myself hugging my dad, all I can think is: don't let go. hold on to him!

4. Seeing a baby being born: Even if I turn on "A Baby Story" (tv show on TLC) for the last 10 seconds of the birth and I know nothing about anyone, I cry when that baby slides out. When I attended Meredith's birth, I sometimes worried I was not helping matters when I was audibly sobbing throughout the last few hours. Oh my goodness, when little Rosalyn showed her face!

One exception to the tears-at-birth phenomena? I didn't cry when my own babies were born. I just swore like a trucker and then stared numbly for about 30 minutes. Once I had an ice pack planted firmly between my legs and my babies were washed and fluffed, and I looked at their tiny faces, then I cried. For days.

5 comments:

Meredith said...

I love this. Thanks for a perfect and privileged glimpse at your (occasionally) weepy self. I'm with you on Baby Story, by the way. Every. Single. Time.

Christine said...

I never would have taken you for a crier. That's what these blogs are good for - exposing our true selves to everyone and anyone who reads them!

Leigh said...

I've gotten weepy at all of Macy's parent/teacher conferences...embarrassing! I just get so filled up w/emotion hearing someone else praise my daughter..I guess it reminds me that as much as she can get on my nerves sometimes, she really is such a wonderful little girl.

Stephani Nola said...

extreme makeover: home edition.

Carver Fam said...

Okay, I was actually a bit misty just reading the blog. I am a crier- quite easily in fact. I also cannot hold it together during the Olympics. Have you ever seen the clip circling the web about the man who does triatholons with his quadrapeligic son on his back? He has done like over 20 of these so he can give his son the feeling of freedom. Oh, just writing about it almost ruins me.

P.S. the thing about Sklyer also gets me when Ella says something really soft like that. Do you think it is intentional to make you cry? Sometimes I wonder.