Saturday, October 31, 2009

I bet I'm not alone here

You know how when you take your kids to the grocery store and if you've taken time to see that they are wearing matching clothes and their hair is brushed, you don't run into anyone you know?

But when you go to the store in a hurry, and you run into someone who has never met your kids but has always wanted to, like a colleague or the parent of a student, and they say: "are these your kids?" and before you think of something clever like, "no, these are my neighbor's kids," you look down in the cart and your son is wearing dinosaur pajama pants and his sister's pink sweatshirt and your daughter is wearing some weird stained shirt because it is "so comfy" with mismatched pants and neither of them are wearing shoes or socks, and their hair is going in all directions, and your son's nose is running and your daughter has a dirty face, and you have to say: "Yes! these are my kids!"

And you know how just when you think that you are having a relaxing and easy evening, your daughter calls down from upstairs and says: "MOM! I think we have a poop situation up here, but I can't actually find the poop" referring to something your almost-but-not-quite potty trained son did?

And you know you get busy doing something for one second and your son runs out into the backyard in just his pants but no shirt and no shoes or socks, and it's actually like 40 degrees out, so you think, "that's probably not a good idea," and just as you are on your way to grab him, your neighbor pulls into their driveway and says: "Oh! It's a little cold for that, isn't it?"

And you know how you say things you probably know not to, like when your daughter is crying and clinging to your leg because she doesn't want to play soccer in her last soccer game, and she just keeps saying that she wants to go home, and so you say: "Do you see any other boys or girls crying on the sidelines with their moms?" and then another mother looks at you with that look, and you realize that isn't the most understanding thing to say?

And also, do you know how you get the dinner made, kitchen all clean, dishes put away, counters wiped down, and floor swept, and you go into the living room where, in the meantime, your kids have taken out every toy, dumped out every basket of puzzles, and taken the cushions off the couch to jump from the table to the cushion pile, and so while you start to clean up that mess, they head for the kitchen to find a snack?

You know how just when you are in the middle of a crowded line at Target with a totally full cart and you are getting that sweaty, stressed feeling because you have just barely avoided tantrums and supertotalfreakouts while you gathered everything on your list, and when there is only one cart in front of you, and then your almost-potty-trained son says: "I need to go POTTY! I need to go potty RIGHT NOW!"?

Oh yeah, and this one: You get all the laundry folded AND put away, the laundry that has piled up all week, and you have this totally satisfying feeling like: I have DONE the laundry, and it is all PUT AWAY, and then it takes you a few minutes to remember that the laundry is never, ever, ever DONE, and that even as you are standing there feeling satisfied, your kids are throwing off their dirty clothes and getting into the bath?

Okay, how about this: Do you know how you come home from a run, and you need a quick shower, so you sneak off to do that, and the next thing you know, you are in the bath with two kids and piles of bubbles and bath toys and you are helping your kid spell words with those foam letters and sticking them to the wall, and then everyone gets out and the floor is all wet and now the kids need new outfits?

And I know you know this one: You know when your kids are saying "MOM" over and over and over and over and over and over and over, and you are giving them one thing after another and wiping noses and butts and picking up toys, and slicing apples and packing lunches and they are still saying "MOM? MOM? MOM?" and you sort of freak out and you say : "WHAAAAAT?!" and then they say: "I love you, mommy."


Cat said...

This totally makes me want to have kids ;-)

Nancy said...

You know how when you experience one of those little episodes for yourself it REALLY helps to know that Emilie has those moments, too... Oh, you didn't know that? Well now you do! Seriously, thank you for not being quite so totally perfect all the time, even though you're mostly a totally hip Martha Stewart on a stick.

Carver Fam said...

oh, boy. do i ever know...

kara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kara said...

laughing at the outdoor comments without any clothes on or close too. My son James always runs out the front door naked when his brother is leaving to go somewhere. The neighbors always look at me like I am crazy. It is nearly impossible to keep clothes on him

Michelle said...

Or the feeling you get when you are talking on the phone to someone like the receptionist at the Dr.'s office and your sons start killing each other and screeching at the top of their lungs and the receptionist says, "Well, I'll let you go... it sure sounds like you have your hands full!"