Wednesday, January 19, 2011

action time

After weeks of testing, waiting, more biopsies, more waiting, more results, we have a first step plan for attacking my mom's breast cancer.  At first, we were choosing between several options for surgery, but further tests revealed that it really wasn't a choice after all.  Tomorrow my mom will undergo a bilateral mastectomy.  

It is midterm week at my school and grades are all due, so I will be sitting in the waiting room tomorrow with (literally) boxes full of student work and trying to stay focused enough to keep up with grading.  I will try to get on the blog to update when surgery is over and when I know she is awake and doing okay.  Thank you in advance for all of your positive thoughts and prayers. 

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this poem. My friend Erica sent this to me to pass on to my mom.

It's so good it brought me to tears, which, let's be honest, is not that hard to do these days.  The poet is Irish and the title means "blessing."  For my mama.

Beannacht
By John O'Donohue

On the day when
The weight deadens on your shouders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The gray window
And the ghost of loss
Gets in to you,
May a flock of colors,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the church of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.

26 comments:

Danielle Frottier said...

Positive vibes sent to you and your mama!!! Hang in there.

Sarah Woulfin said...

Sending positive thoughts to your mother, you, and the rest of the family......take care of yourself & keep breathing!

Kirsten said...

Sending you strength, determination, focus, peace, and a reminder to breathe. Regularly. In and out.

Carly said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. One day at a time!

sarah said...

You and your mom will be on my mind this week!! xo

FrauB said...

Thinking of you and your mom tomorrow. Fingers crossed that all goes as well as can be.

Claudia said...

Sending you lots of Positive vibes for you and your mom!
xo

Cat said...

What a gorgeous poem. Glad it is something you have looked to at this time. Good luck with the grading. Under normal circumstances grading is hard to do (for me anyway), but may it be the bullseye on which to focus your mind as you wait!

Karen said...

What a beautiful poem. I'll be thinking of you and your Mom tomorrow and sending TONS of positive thoughts your way....

Anne-Marie said...

praying for you both, Emilie, and please let me know if there is anything you all need.

Cate said...

Sending you and your Mom love, strength and healing energy. We will be thinking of you and please let us know if you need anything.
Cate, Ben and Emery

Kim Oldenburgh said...

Thoughts and prayers with you and your whole family. I can see why you posted that poem-it's beautiful.

Frederique said...

In my prayers...

Jen @ Making Messes said...

Many prayers and thoughts for you and your mom. I witnessed a mother figure in my life go through a double mastectomy and it was both challenging and empowering for her. Hard and beautiful to watch.

Michelle said...

We are all praying for you and Aunt Beth down here in MD. We love you all so much! Praying for peace, courage, strength, and healing.
Much, much love,
Michelle

Jonesinmaine said...

Very touching poem. Will be thinking of your mom tomorrow. This is the way I would go if faced with this decision...hope it all goes smoothly.
Becca

lee said...

Sending good vibes your way.

Zoe Kreitzer said...

What a beautiful poem. Perfect, perfect. One step at a time, and breathe, breathe, breathe.

Jodi said...

beautiful poem Emilie - lots of love to your mom tomorrow.

maria. said...

i'll be thinking of you and your mom all day tomorrow. lots of love and and deep breaths.

Kristin said...

Our thoughts and positive energy to you and your family, Emilie.

Brooke said...

Much love and peace to you and your mom tomorrow. I will be sending positive healing thoughts,

Airy Nothing said...

I'm sending healing thoughts and prayers your way...

Nancy said...

I'm sending you both thoughts of love and prayers for healing all day today.

Laura said...

thinking of you both. xoxoxo.

defining moments said...

may your momma be surrounded with all the love and may she recover full of sunshine. i love you and tell your momma i love her too.