one mom in maine

and Jesus said: "this is so boring"

2012-01-27T11:00:00.002-05:00

Some recent adventures in parenting:

• I was writing an email to my professor the other day when Skyler asked me whom I was writing to, so I told her. This led to a series of questions about how it is that I AM a teacher and yet I HAVE a teacher, and what was this teacher teaching me? She concluded the conversation with this: "Let me get this straight: you are a teacher getting taught by a teacher about teaching?" Correct.

• Last weekend I was reading on the couch and I fell asleep for probably ten minutes. During that time, Reed took out a half-filled gallon of milk to make himself some chocolate milk. He did this by adding chocolate syrup TO the entire milk jug. He was very proud.

• Sam recently replaced the shower-curtain hooks in both bathrooms. Reed noticed, and commented that he loved "our new hang-gliders." Kids sometimes just make perfect sense. This reminded me that Reed also calls the hooks on the bathroom door "hookers" which reminded me that when my nephew was little, he told a friend that his dad was a "hooker,"by which he meant that he is a fisherman.

• When we were in Utah, Reed was complaining that his ear hurt and he thought it was because "there is something in there. I think it's a wood chip." We all had a good laugh, and I looked in his ear and didn't see anything. The next day we went swimming and he complained about his ear again. And the next day, he was still complaining. I borrowed a pair of tweezers from Liesel and went into his ear. I pulled something out. It was a wood chip. Problem solved.

• Skyler made hot chocolate for Reed last week. When Reed wouldn't drink it, she asked: "Is your hot chocolate too hot?" He answered: "No, it's too medium." Which is an interesting problem.

• Skyler still constantly sings the songs from our Christmas pageant, especially in the car. While listening more closely the other day, I realized that when she sings "Go Tell it on the Mountain" she was actually saying: "Go tell it on the mountain, that Jesus Christ is bored." That kind of changes the meaning of the song, doesn't it.

And one from the classroom:

One of my seniors asked me if I was going to give him any credit for his final project on Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close even though it was (his words) "extremely lame and incredibly late."

Today is a SNOW DAY, so here is the scene around here:

Happy weekend, everyone!

This time around: notes on training

2012-01-24T19:12:00.002-05:00

File under "thoughts I have while running": Why is someone who runs marathons a marathoner, but someone who does triathlons a triathlete? Triathloner? Marathete? Just wondering.

Writing about marathon training when you are one week in is kind of like talking about pregnancy during your first month. Woohoo! This is easy! What is all the fuss?!

But from where I stand today, things are looking good! 1 week down, only 17 to go. Those 3 mile runs during the week are awesome. I felt strong during my first 8-mile long run despite the cold weather.

This time around, I am totally embracing the out of doors and I'm going to stay away from the treadmill as much as possible. Because we haven't gotten much snow, I've been really enjoying trail running and find it just crazy-cool to be running trails in January. Sometimes it's a tad icy or loud and crunchy, but it's still runable, and such a joy to be in the woods on a cold winter day. My friend Lindsay recently asked me: "doesn't the cold weather just make you feel more alive?" Totally. Yes.

Another thing I love about running in the winter (I'm being serious here) is how much your nose runs. It just seems to me that if your body is getting rid of fluids like that in a constant flow, you have to be doing something good for yourself. I feel totally cleaned out after a cold run. A bit of advice: don't borrow fleece mittens from a runner.

And get this: on Sunday, I actually cross trained. In my 3 training cycles before this, if it said "cross" on the calender, I felt pretty good if I did laundry, cooked dinner, and mopped the floors for some cardio.

But I borrowed a trainer for my bike for the winter so I can actually do a workout IN MY HOUSE. Amazing. What a concept. And you know what is weird about biking indoors? There is no wind to cool you down, so you sweat buckets.

The kids thought it was so wild that mommy was biking in the house. 30 minutes of hard biking felt like a great workout, and will serve as both cross for marathon training and early prep for the half-ironman.

I have also decided that the hot tub is going to be an integral part of my training this time around. There is a beautiful hot tub connected to the pool at the UMaine Rec Center, and now that both of my kids can swim unaided (woot! Reed has passed the deep-end test!), I can take them swimming and just soak in the hot tub. It's kind of ridiculously luxurious. On Sunday, my body felt fantastic after about an hour in the tub.

Reed also sits in the hot tub with me and is surprisingly chill and un-Reed-like in there. He was in it for so long on Sunday that he got all pink and hot and when he sat on my lap he reminded me of a boiled potato. Like, I started craving butter and dill. Is that weird?

I hope to stay this optimistic about the training as it gets harder, but so far, so very good.

Some overheards... (and canvas photo winner!)

2012-01-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

Some recent Reedisms:

While lying in bed with me and brushing my hair with his hand:
"Mom, hold still. This will only hurt for a second."

Reed's recent and frequent exclamation. (Um...no idea where he got this one):
"Oh, for the love of God!"

After I served him chicken and broccoli for dinner:
"Mom, this is just delightful."

Proud Healthy Mommy Moment:
At the health food store, Reed was overheard saying:
"If I am a good boy helping you make carrot juice, will you let me have some dried mango?"

This is on par with times at the grocery store when he yells out: "Mom! We need more kale!"

Be still my heart.

I gave Reed my old cell phone, the one that went through the wash and never worked again. He carries it around in his pocket, and when he loses it, he says: "Mom? Where's my cell?"

The kid cracks me up.

And now, onto our canvas photo winner:

Congratulations, Carrie! Email me and I will put you in touch with the folks at Easy Canvas Prints.

Even if you did not win, don't forget you get 50% off your first order when you "like" their facebook page.

My first week of marathon training has gone very well, and tomorrow I have 8 miles on the schedule. Looking forward to the post-winter-run buzz. Midterms are also over, my grades are all done and entered, so all I have to do this weekend is, oh, you know, plan for the brand new semester and write an essay for my grad class. In other words, we're ordering pizza tonight and my feet are officially up.

A gift for you, my friends: canvas photo giveaway.

2012-01-16T19:14:00.001-05:00

I have had this 16 x 20 canvas print of Skyler since last summer, and I finally ordered one of Reed to go with it. The company, Easy Canvas Prints, does a great job and makes it really easy to turn your photos into sturdy and handsome canvas prints. I could see myself getting carried away and ordering canvas prints for every room.

Like this photo of my family in Utah: my mom and all of her offspring. This would make a great canvas print, I'd say.

Anyway, the kind folks at Easy Canvas Prints are offering one of you a free 11x14 canvas print of any one of your photos. All you have to do make sure you are *
1) a follower of this blog and
2) a fan of One Mom in Maine on facebook, and then
3) leave a comment here.

* winner must be a U.S. resident *excluding Hawaii and Alaska due to shipping costs.

Bonus: You should also know that if you "like" Easy Canvas Prints on facebook, you get 50% off of your next order. That's a great deal!

One bit of advice: I have found that the canvas prints come out a bit dark, so you should lighten your photo up a bit before you download it onto their site. When the one of Reed at first came I thought it was too dark, and they very quickly reprinted it for me and sent it again. They are good people.

Okay, comment away. I'll close comments on Friday at 5:00 pm and pick a random winner shortly thereafter. Good luck!

Cold snap.

2012-01-15T12:08:00.000-05:00

I'm still here! It has been a busy week with tons of grading as it is the end of the quarter and I also started a new grad class that looks like it's going to be a lot of work. I've been getting it all done, though, and I'm still running, too.

Tomorrow starts the 18-week training plan for the Sugarloaf Marathon, and today was a marathon-training kick off run with this brave and bundled crew:

Ashley, Libby, Roger, Rachel, me, and Tom.

Ashley and Libby are training for their first half marathon, Tom and Rachel are training for their first full marathon, and Roger, my friend and running coach, is training for his, um, like, 25th marathon? Ashley and Libby are my students, Tom and Rachel are my former students, and Roger is dad to Libby and Rachel. Did you get all that?

Today is also Ashley's 18th birthday so I made her run with a tiara over her hat.

We are all running the Sugarloaf full marathon or the 15K, and we wanted to get in a training run together before Tom and Rachel went back to college. So... we had planned to run this morning and I was proud of us for doing it considering it was 0 DEGREES. None. Not one degree. In fact, with the windchill, I don't even want to know what the temperature was.

It was very painful for the first half mile, and then I swear to you, I warmed up and it was lovely to be out in that cold, crisp air. The sun was bright, no one was out on the roads, and it felt so good. I had hand and foot warmers and 4 top layers, and I was perfectly comfortable. My Garmin FROZE and wouldn't work, so I don't know our pace but these guys are all faster than me, so I think we ran at a decent clip. We ran 4.5 miles, just enough to justify going out for breakfast after.

Marathon Training day -1. Check!

I'm hoping that the mostly mild winter we have had so far will resume. Even the lack of snowfall hasn't bothered me this year because I've been able to run trails almost non-stop this whole winter.

I am feeling excited to be on plan starting tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on how this training cycle goes. Now, more coffee!

Oops, I did it again: Epiphany pageant 2012

2012-01-08T21:17:00.004-05:00

"Glory to God in the Highest! And on earth, peace, good will to men!"

That was Skyler's line in the Epiphany Pageant that took place this morning at church. That was her line, so that is what we've been saying. "Glory to God in the Highest!" while getting dressed, brushing teeth, tying shoes, "and on earth, peace!" brushing hair, zipping jackets, buckling seat belts, "and good will to men!" She said it probably 150 times this weekend. And she nailed it when it was her turn, and then gave me a thumbs up. I was sitting on the floor in front of the front pew because I was the director of the show for the 4th year in a row. And it was the 4th year in a row that I said for the entire month of December during rehearsals "This is the LAST time I am ever doing this." Next year, I'll probably say the same thing.

As we were all standing around this morning, my friend April said: "Reed is conspicuously missing." (because he had no interest in doing the pageant so came to church with Sam instead to watch). And my other friend Nancy said: "And Emilie is conspicuously relaxed." It is one thing to direct the pageant and another thing altogether if Reed were in it, dressed as (the irony!) an angel.

We remembered to get a photo of the whole cast before the show this year. They were so cute and worked so hard learning their lines and their songs. Here I am warming them up after they were all in costume, and while my face might look like psycho-pageant mom, I really think I was just reminding them to SMILE while they sing!

I know. Oh my good gracious. That is baby Sam as the black sheep. Look at some of the rest of these faces, too:

Mary and Joseph came down the aisle at the exact right moment. The inn-keepers perfectly had no vacancy at their inns. None of the angels lost his or her wings. The shepherds kept track of the sheep, well not really, but they looked adorable. Everyone remembered lines and the microphones were always in the right place. The 3 kings nailed their solos. They smiled. They sang. It was beautiful.

And thank YOU everyone, especially the amazing Nancy Marks who not only organizes, sews, and irons all the costumes and helps me make every decision, but she gives me a thank you present and card and tries to give me all the credit. I couldn't (and wouldn't) attempt to do it without you, Nancy!

It is a ton of work but it always feels worth it when it's over.

Okay, seriously. The only way I'm going to direct the pageant next year is if someone will agree to help me rig up some sort of pulley-system from the ceiling with harnesses so the angels can actually fly. Then I'll consider it. Otherwise, it's someone else's turn.

A new year.

2012-01-06T13:50:00.000-05:00

We have been back from Utah for about a week, back to the school routine, back to grading papers and packing lunches. The kids are happily settled back into their routine and we are all busy, busy, busy.

After a long but uneventful travel day on New Year's Eve, I spent all day on New Year's Day sick with a stomach bug and then I got a cold and cough on my first week back in school, so I can't exactly say that 2012 started off with a bang.

But I am ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work in my life. I have recipes I want to try, a new graduate class to begin, and a marathon training plan that begins in a week. I feel inspired to organize, de-clutter and take stock in my life. As I say at the start of every new year, I hope this year to be better, stronger, smarter, more honest, more patient, more generous, and more loving. To that list I will add that I will drink more water and be a little bit faster as a runner. I also want a 70.3 sticker on my car.

Happy New Year to all of you. Come back this weekend for a great give-away.

Here is the last photo I took in Utah, sunset the night before we flew home.

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky."

Rabindranath Tagore

i couldn't stop taking photos in utah.

2011-12-30T22:30:00.000-05:00

the view from the lobby of the Natural History Museum

One morning this week, we met my cousin Tiercy at the amazing and brand new Natural History Museum in Salt Lake City. It featured dinosaurs and tons of hands-on exhibits for kids. I didn't get many shots of the kids in action because they all ran in different directions.

My mom, Liesel, me and Tiercy.

Skyler and Laney looking at specimens under the microscopes

I did manage to pile all the cousins up for a few photos.

Skyler, Laney, Cameron, Tyler, Grant, Ethan and Reedo.

I love having these 4 beauties together. And the mountains in the backdrop aren't too shabby either.

lucky me with my siblings. There are too many miles between us.

Chris soaking up the sun on the porch. This view shows the main house and the guest house where my mom lives several months a year.

I ski with my camera and I make everyone stop at scenic vistas.

Parting shot: That's me lying in the sun in December. So so warm. I will miss those mountains.

last day in Utah.

2011-12-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

And we are making the most of it. Loooong travel day tomorrow, and more pictures when I get home.
Happy New Year!

more silliness on the pond

2011-12-29T13:36:00.002-05:00

happy goggle-wearing boys.

2011-12-29T10:10:00.000-05:00

I just love these three photos. And I just love these three boys.

Cameron.

Grant.

let's talk about skiing.

2011-12-28T22:34:00.001-05:00

I have been skiing since I was 7 years old, and I have always loved it, always thought it was one of the purest kinds of fun. Now when I ski, it is still pure fun, but it also feels bigger to me. I just take in the fresh air, the wind, the sunshine, the open views from a place of total gratitude. I appreciate the fact that because skiing is so expensive, it is a total treat to experience it. I appreciate my body feeling strong and able as I cruise down the mountain. I appreciate the fact that my body knows how to ski in such an ingrained way; my muscles remember how, and even if I only ski a few times a year, I pick it back up instantly and it feels totally natural to me. I want to shout and sing and hoot and holler at the views. It also just feels magical to fly down a mountain like that, past the pine trees and aspen trees and breathing the clean air; it's a treat for all the senses. I even love the way the snow smells. I don't want to get all spiritual on you, but skiing to me is, well, spiritual. I feel deeply relaxed, happy, and fulfilled on the mountain. A full day of exerting my leg muscles like that, wind and sun-kissed cheeks all add up to that satisfying whole-body buzz and a sense of calm.

You know how when you've been skiing all day and you lie in bed at night and you still feel your body gliding down the mountain? Yeah. Like that. That's the stuff.

In other words: Skiing? You complete me.

I get to go AGAIN on Friday.

Here are my favorite still shots from our day on the mountain.

mountains make me giddy too.

I can't get enough of Reed with those goggles.

Liesel and Sam on the way up up up.

Reed looking tough and confident.

apre ski glow

who looks cuter in a helmet? nobody.

magic carpet ride.

the view: dumb, boring, and ugly.

"Mom! Take my picture on the ice couch!"

After I said "no, I won't carry you," Uncle Craig said "YES."

aspens, blue sky, snow, tracks.


Skyler feeling satisfied by the fire pit. That whole-body buzz? She's got it.

amazing day on the slopes.

2011-12-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

This video represents Reed's first day on skis, Skyler's second day, and mostly, lots of footage of my amazing 10 and 11 year old nephews, Cameron and Grant.

I am still warm from the sun and wind. Just delightful.

the skating pond.

2011-12-28T00:06:00.001-05:00

Right next door to my sister's house is a pond, and in the winter, it comes alive with skating and pond hockey. My brother-in-law Craig keeps it meticulously smooth. There are white Christmas lights strung above it, and even a sound system so that while we skate, there is Christmas music playing. It is so crazy cool and fun, and it's right out their door.

looking back at the house from the pond.

Liesel and Cam

that's my big brother Chris.

Craig taking a rest after some serious hockey time

blue eyes. blue sky.

For the first day, we kept Reed in his boots and he played hockey on the ice with the big kids for hours. But today, we got him some skates. We have laughed and laughed and laughed at this. Check out Reed's skating debut.

We also had an incredible day of skiing today, and there are photos. And more video!
Stay tuned!

Merry Christmas, part 2.

2011-12-25T14:44:00.002-05:00

Obviously, we got our Christmas miracle and made it to Utah. Our travels were incredibly smooth, everything was on time or early, and we had clear skies all the way. Reed was my seatmate and for the most part, he was very good.

It always amazes me to fly east to west. A few hours into the trip, everything changes dramatically out the window. This was the view just east of Las Vegas.

We landed in Salt Lake and soon we were in the full swing of Christmas Eve at Liesel's house.

We got to sit at one table with my mom and siblings and nephews for the Brand family tradition of Cheese Fondue. Champagne toast to all being together. Merry Christmas indeed.

Uncle Craig read The Night Before Christmas to the kids, and then after some cajoling, we finally got our kids to bed at 11, (1 am Maine time!)

And then in the morning, the mountains were waiting for us. Good morning, Utah.

Look! Santa got the memo about where we were this year.

New bathrobes! (Reed wouldn't wear his, even though we told him that warriors wear robes)

my beautiful nephews.


my beautiful sister and mom.

Breakfast and Christmas gifts with cousins. Does it get any better?

Skyler drawing the sunrise over the mountains with her new art supplies.

Reed's dream come true.

After all the food and coffee, I felt the need to get out. I ran just shy of 4 miles; it was hard up here at 7,000 feet. But the sunshine and fresh air felt sooooo good. Hope everyone else had a fantastic day.

Merry Christmas from Utah.

2011-12-25T14:07:00.001-05:00

The moment at which the children were released to see if Santa came.

Santa did.

Merry Christmas. Many many more photos to come.

Utah bound.

2011-12-22T17:53:00.002-05:00

As of today, I am officially on vacation. We leave tomorrow to drive to Manchester, NH and then fly out the next day to Utah. We will be spending Christmas at my sister Liesel's house in Park City where my mom is, and my brother Chris will be arriving there shortly. We have not all been together for Christmas (my mom and my siblings) for about ten years, so I am very excited. There are two handsome blonde nephews waiting for me and I plan to squeeze them very tightly upon arrival.

We have a 35 minute lay over in Las Vegas on Christmas Eve. That means that in order to make our connection, we either need a Christmas Miracle or a lot of good luck, and please, no stormy weather. Mom, stop pacing. We will get there eventually, I promise. But wouldn't it be kind of funny to get stuck in Las Vegas, of all places, on Christmas Eve? No. I don't think so either.

This week has been just plain crazy busy. Aside from a very busy teaching week, I got the Christmas shopping done, presents assembled for the kids' teachers, cookies baked, and Christmas cards mailed off. If you are normally a recipient of a bag full of home-baked goods from me, it's not that I don't love you anymore. The mass-production baking just didn't happen this year.

The other thing that hasn't happened yet is that I haven't packed one thing for Utah. I have a small mountain of laundry to sort through and the duffel bags to fill. The thing about packing for a winter visit is that are so many layers and so many different kinds of shoes and boots that need to go with us. Ski boots! Winter boots! Running stuff! The sweaters and mittens and hats and ski jackets!

What's that? Instead of getting my butt upstairs to organize it all, why am I sitting at the kitchen table telling you all about it? I see your point.

Off I go. In the meantime, I wish you all the happiest holidays. Thank you for all of your support and love for another year. I will of course be blogging from Utah. Wish us luck!

women, wine, and christmas cookies

2011-12-17T23:41:00.004-05:00

I think it is so much fun to decorate Christmas cookies, but all that ever happens when you have small kids is that you end up making cookies with the children who are very messy, so the possibility of beautiful cookies is traded in for ugly cookies piled with three inches of sprinkles and then sticky-fingered children who eat too much sugar while they are decorating and then get wired and you end up with over-tired, high-strung children having tantrums. And a really messy kitchen.

So I wanted to decorate cookies with my friends when there were no children around and that is just what we did.

Due to a long story about kids, babysitters, and the dads who had plans to go out separately (but then didn't), my friend Lindsay offered to have the party at her house so I didn't have to bribe my kids to stay upstairs while I was decorating cookies with my friends downstairs. So I packed up all my cookie stuff and we had ourselves a party.

I rolled out and baked 140 cookies. Yes I did.

I love my friends. There was wine, delicious food, some cut-throat cookie decorating, some trash talk, an ugliest-cookie contest, lots of laughs and banter. Just what a girl needs.

See the really intense blonde piping the blue frosting? That's Suzanne. She kind of put us all to shame with her work ethic and cookie-decorating spirit.

accidentally matching with Lindsay. :)

I decorated all of the cookies on that tray. Okay, FINE. Suzanne did.

These are mine. I am proud of three of them.

See this cookie? I made it. The technique is actually very complicated and takes an extremely steady hand. And if you could buy such a cookie in a bakery it would be VERY EXPENSIVE. The girls told me it reminded them of Spiderman and that is just NOT what I was going for.

It turns out that there is a rather large gap between the kind of cookies I can make in my imagination and the cookies that I actually make. But I have these great friends. Merry Christmas.

And oh crap it's almost midnight and I have to run a Christmas pageant rehearsal in the morning. Good night!

On bravery.

2011-12-14T15:13:00.001-05:00

“The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.”
Corra Harris

At the end of each school year, I always give my students a list of non-English related life lessons that I have learned and that I want them to know about before I send them off into the world. Just to give you an idea, some items from the list are:

Always write thank you notes for gifts, and be specific about the gift and how it was meaningful to you.
Have a firm handshake. (and then we practice firm handshakes)
When you are chronically late, you are saying with your actions that your time is more important than other people's time. Don't do that.
Presentation is very important; turn in crisp papers, iron your clothes, and wrap gifts beautifully.

Another one that I always include is this:

Be confident. And even if you don't feel confident, fake it.

I tell my students the story that when I was in high school, I wasn't super confident in who I was. But I had this incredible friend who was extremely confident, and I used to watch the way she walked into a room like she owned it, and laugh when anyone questioned her quirky style. It didn't hurt that she was head-turning gorgeous, but more importantly she was original, a non-conformist, and totally comfortable with her own unique self. I started to consciously start acting like I was confident like she did. Lo and behold, when I started acting confidently, people began to perceive me as confident, and then soon enough, I was confident. Like magic.

A few years later, I went to NELP (New England Literature Program) which was a spring semester of college English in New Hampshire. A woman on the staff who later became a great friend of mine told me about her first impression of me when I arrived on the first day of the program. She said that she noticed me and thought that the vibe I gave off was best described as: “I don't know about the rest of you, but I know who I am and I know what I'm doing.” When she told me that, I laughed to myself and thought: “See, it works!” By that time, I really did know who I was and what I was doing, but I was close enough to my old self-conscious self that I really appreciated her noticing my progress. (Hi, Laura).

All that back story was to tell you that I've been thinking a lot about bravery and doing brave things, and even though I don't always feel brave, I've decided the best thing to do is just proceed as if I am. Close my eyes and jump.

This fall has been a drawn-out struggle, and as I am in the process of clawing my way out of it, I've been thinking about actions, things I can do, steps I can take. I've also had to do the opposite: resist moving so fast all the time, write, think, talk, sit with uncomfortable feelings, have hard conversations. And that feels just as brave. It felt brave for me to write about my sadness. It felt brave to ask for help. It felt brave to get the tattoo that I've wanted for years, which not coincidentally, is a symbol of strength and soaring and freedom, just as a reminder. It feels brave to face conflicts within myself that I could just as easily ignore. It also feels brave, and really fun, to make some race plans for 2012.

When I signed up for my first marathon, I had so many doubts that I could actually run 26.2 miles, and I remember thinking that when I hit ENTER on the registration page for the Nike Women's Marathon, that it was like stepping onto a moving train. It was thrilling and scary, and obviously, I did run the marathon, and finishing was beyond exhilarating. I feel ready to do something big and scary (I mean brave) again. Here goes.

I am going to run another marathon this spring, the one I trained for last year but got sick and then couldn't run. Because what is the meaning of life without a training plan on the fridge? Because what is a winter in Maine without cold, suffering long-runs on the slushy roads on Saturday mornings? You don't know pleasure until you have peeled off three layers of soaking wet running clothes after a ten-degree 15-mile run and then stepped into a steaming shower. You really don't. And oh God, the hot coffee after the hot shower when your skin is all tingly and warm. Hmmm.

And then (this is where I start acting brave) in September, I am going to complete a Half-Ironman. (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run = 70.3 miles).

Don't try and stop me. Because I'm not scared at all. Not even a little bit. No big deal. I mean, I've never swam that far in open water. I've never biked more than 30 miles at once. When I see people warming up before a half marathon, I think: “Good God, people, you have 13 miles to run! Rest up!”

Like I said, I'm not scared.

So, starting in January, I will begin an 18-week training plan that will lead up to the Sugarloaf Marathon, and then starting (ahem) the day after the marathon, I will transition into an 18-week training plan that will take me to the Pumpkinman Half-Ironman. Telling you about that makes me feel like this. Woooo hooooo.

New Year's resolution time is coming soon. Do something brave with me! And if you don't think you are brave or confident enough to do the thing that scares you (let's review today's lesson): Just fake it. Nobody will know the difference.

gingerbread houses, two ways.

2011-12-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

One of these houses was designed by a 7-year old girl. The other by a 4-year old boy. Obviously.

paging Dr. Freud.

2011-12-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was lying on the couch and Reed crawled into my arms and looked right in my eyes.

He said:

"Mama, will you marry me?"
I said yes.
"And we can be married and live together forever in our own house?"
I said yes.
Then he hugged me really tight and closed his eyes and kissed me on the lips and said:
"Now we are married!"

I said: "Go tell Daddy the good news!"

Oh, Reed. Your poor future spouse... it's going to be so crowded!

heavy boots.

2011-12-09T15:49:00.006-05:00

In the book that I am re-reading and that I keep talking about, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, the narrator, Oskar, who is 9 years old, and one of the most endearing characters in all of literature, is constantly inventing things or ideas in his head. Here are two of his inventions that I can't stop thinking about.

What if the water that came out of the shower was treated with a chemical that responded to a combination of things, like your heart-beat, and your body temperature, and your brain waves, so that your skin changed color according to your mood?  If you were extremely excited your skin would turn green, and if you were angry you'd turn red, obviously, and if you felt like shiitake you'd turn brown, and if you were blue you'd turn blue.

Everyone could know what everyone else felt, and we could all be more careful with each other, because you'd never want to tell a person whose skin was purple that you're angry at her for being late, just like you would want to pat a pink person on the back and tell him “Congratulations!”

Another reason it would be a good invention is that there are so many times when you know you're feeling a lot of something, but you don't know what the something is.  Am I frustrated?  Am I actually just panicky?  And that confusion changes your mood, it becomes your mood, and you become a confused, gray person.  But with the special water, you could look at your orange hands and think, I'm happy!  That whole time I was actually happy!  What a relief!

And another:

An ambulance drove down the street between us, and I imagined who it was carrying, and what happened to him... Was there any chance I knew him?  Did anyone see the ambulance and wonder if it was me inside?   

What about a device that knew everyone you knew?  So when an ambulance went down the street, a big sign on the roof could flash

DON'T WORRY!  DON'T WORRY!

if the sick person's device didn't detect the device of someone he knew nearby.  And if the device did detect the device of someone he knew, the ambulance could flash the name of the person in the ambulance, and either

IT'S NOTHING MAJOR!   IT'S NOTHING MAJOR!

Or if it was something major,

IT'S MAJOR!  IT'S MAJOR!

And maybe you could rate the people you knew by how much you loved them, so if the device of the person in the ambulance detected the device of the person he loved the most, or the person who loved him the most, and the person in the ambulance was really badly hurt, and might even die, the ambulance could flash

GOODBYE!  I LOVE YOU!  GOODBYE!  I LOVE YOU!

There are so many more passages I'd like to copy. There are so many moments in this book when I feel like I love this boy Oskar, a totally fictional character. I love him and think about him even when I'm not reading, and I think I must love him because he's sensitive like I am and anxious like I can be, and if I love him then I probably actually love the person who created him, Jonathan Safran Foer, or I just love all people who understand me like Oskar seems to.

What if everyone always remembered that everyone else has a story, has conflicts, has love and pain and laughter and dreams and secrets and let-downs and we are all just doing the best we can do?

That's how this books makes me feel. It makes me feel more gentle and so full of love for everyone else. It makes me understand everyone else a little better.

And that makes my boots both heavy and light all at the same time. (If you've read the book, you understand exactly what that means.)

peace, love, and apple pies.

2011-12-06T19:40:00.001-05:00

This weekend I wanted to do some baking for some people that I love, and I had it in my mind that I wanted to make individual apple pies, so I searched around and found this recipe for Apple Hand Pies. Apple pies that you hold in your hand. That's adorable, people.

I made 12.

They were delicious AND they are cute to look at.

Transition...

Speaking of cute to look at, my boy Reed continues to get quirkier and quirkier.

Here is his incredibly deliberate outfit, deconstructed: These jeans are the only pants he will wear because they are stiff enough that when he rolls them up, the cuffs don't touch his shoes. He's also really into this t-shirt that is Skyler's, and he'll cry if he has to wear anything else to school. Don't miss the dishtowel fastened with a binder clip, which, if you happen to see Reed about town, you be sure to refer to as his "very cool cape!" And the tattoo on the forearm, well, no idea where that idea came from. And see that orange peeking out from under his green croc? That's one of those foam drink coolers that you pull over a can of beer, aka, his "cast."

Last but not least, a Thor sword and shield, which, I found out, he cannot bring for show-and -tell at school because "we don't bring weapons to school" and "you can pick up Reed's toys in the front office." Right. I'm a peace-loving person, I swear. His shirt says "Save the Earth," see?

Sparrow Magazine, Issue Two

2011-12-01T02:26:00.000-05:00

We've gone blue for issue 2!

Our winter issue of Sparrow Magazine is now live. We are proud to bring you another collection of inspiring and informative articles.

A couple months ago, I wrote about how I was working with an editor on some pieces of writing via a graduate class I was taking. I wrote (and rewrote and rewrote) an essay about my father's death and Skyler's birth. We decided to publish it on Sparrow Magazine, and you can find it in the Connections section of this issue. The title is "We Come. We Go. We Love."

Thanks for everyone's continued support of this project. We hope you like it, and if you help us spread the word about today's release, we'll love you forever.

Skyler is ready...

2011-11-28T18:08:00.000-05:00

She still believes. Can't you see it in her eyes?

Skyler made sure to send her letter to Santa a little early this year just so we could be certain he'd find us. "Dear Santa, We just wanted to let you know we'd be in Utah this Christmas."

Turkey Trek 2011: I love Mainers

2011-11-25T11:56:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday while it snowed outside, Skyler and I baked 5 pies, 3 to stay at home and one pecan and one apple for prizes for the top runners of the Turkey Trek.

It was cold and snowy, and I expected less than 20 people, so a turn out of 60 was a wonderful surprise.

We collected a car full of food for the Good Shepherd Food Bank.

My mom came out to snowshoe with us.

College kids are home and there were many sweet reunions.

This is Susan, my co-organizer and Missie, my friend and the representative from the GSFB addressing the crowd. There were about 30 people wearing running shoes, so I advised them just to go for it and plow into the trail that was slightly packed down by snowshoers. The runners seemed game to get a little cold and wet. Everyone else was on snowshoes or cross country skis. I think the Turkey "Trek" earned its name this year.

I think I'm saying: "Are you sure you want to go out there in your sneakers?"

We paused for a group shot (Jackson too!) before everyone took off into the woods. This was the first year I didn't run the 4 mile loop (I am fighting a cold) so I just snowshoed for a while and then came back to watch the finishers come in and give out the pies.

Speaking of sweet reunions, all the photos were taken by my friend and student-home-from-college Marlee. I know. She looks so beautiful and grown up.

This is the first place winner holding my pecan pie.

And 2nd and 3rd.. and both took home pies. Wooo hooo!

A whole group of runners did the entire 4 mile loop in the snow. They were exhausted and said it was tough to run in, but I bet they were happy later.

Thank you to everyone who came out. I wonder if this will be the one-and-only snow-covered Turkey Trek? At least it was beautiful out there. Thank you also to those of you who made online donations in the virtual food drive.

By the way, snow, it's okay if you melt now. I am not ready to give up running on non-snowy trails for the year quite yet. Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey Trek, Snow Edition!

2011-11-23T16:50:00.001-05:00

It snowed all day in Bangor, and it's still coming down. I'd say there are about 8 inches of snow. Here is the latest update about the plans for tomorrow's Turkey Trek "trail run."

It may look a little different this year, but we are still on, and please consider coming out and joining us. You are welcome to come and cross-country ski, snowshoe, hike, or if you don't mind your feet getting cold, run. Come on... be adventurous! Be tough! Be cool! I'm bringing 60 cups of hot coffee donated by Tim Hortons. Don't make me drink it all.

Please don't forget that one of the reasons we are gathering tomorrow is to donate food to the Good Shepherd Food Bank. If you decide not to come, please consider joining our virtual food drive which you can accomplish right from the comfort of your warm, dry home. It's really easy to donate. Just go to The Good Shepherd Food Bank website where there is a headline for the Virtual Food Drive and hit the "donate" button. Thanks to the generosity of the many donors and the efficiency of food banking, a $1 donation to the Food Bank provides $8 worth of food for Mainers facing hunger. So a $10.00 gift equals $80 in food. Wow.

That is something you can feel good about as you unbutton your pants to make room for pie.

No seriously, think about the bounty of food we will all be serving up tomorrow afternoon, and you'll feel better about your meal if you share the love with those less fortunate.

Whether you join us tomorrow for some time in the snowy woods (bundle up!) or not, Happy Thanksgiving!

What's for Dinner? (and other news)

2011-11-22T16:35:00.002-05:00

I know you guys probably all have Thanksgiving dinner on the brain, so you may not need a new recipe this week, but stash this in your winter favorite file. This is comfort food at its finest, and needs to be eaten near a fire when it's cold outside.

Here is how this recipe came into my life: on the night my dad died, when the rest of us returned to my mom's house, there was a big pot of Chicken and Dumplings sitting on my mom's front porch, cooked by a neighbor friend. We all appreciated this meal so much, that it was just there waiting for us, and it also just happened to be so delicious and comforting that we all asked for the recipe.

This recipe is a little time consuming, but not difficult at all. It's great for a Sunday when you are home doing things around the house, or in my case, when you are off running a race, but dinner is cooking away while you're gone.

Chicken and Dumplings

Ingredients:
1 stewing chicken (4 lbs) or 4-5 chicken breasts
1 small onion, quartered
1 carrot, chopped
2 ribs of celery, chopped
1 tsp salt
***
4 tbs butter
6 tbs flour
1/4 tsp paprika
1/2 cup light cream or milk
pepper to taste

Directions:
Lightly boil chicken, onion, carrot, celery, and salt in enough water to cover until chicken is done. Remove chicken from broth and let cool, then chop or shred (I like to shred it) the meat and reserve.
Strain the cooked veggies out of the broth and add water if necessary to make at least 1 to 1 1/2 quarts of chicken stock.

In a heavy-bottomed pot, melt the butter. Stir in flour and paprika (it will make a thick paste). Slowly add the broth to the butter/flour mixture while constantly mixing with wire whisk. Broth should end up quite thick. Add the milk or cream and pepper, chicken chunks and adjust seasons if necessary. Simmer over low heat.

Meanwhile, mix up the dumplings, which you can either make with Bisquick and use the dumpling recipe on the side of the box OR make them from scratch:
2 cups flour
1 tsp salt
4 tsp baking powder
1 tbs shortening
3/4 cup milk

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Dip a tablespoon into cold water and then into dough and drop the spoonfuls of dough onto the bubbling chicken stew; one batch will make about 10 dumplings. Cover and cook for 15 minutes until dumplings float to the top and become big and puffy.

Pure goodness. And the chicken stew was even better the next day when I heated up the broth and made another batch of dumplings.

Other news:
I am out of school for Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow will be spent baking pies, and Skyler is my helper. Her specialty is pressing the fork around the pie crust edges. I will be baking 5 pies, so we will be busy.

Turkey Trek (click here for details): If you are local and you are planning on joining us for the Turkey Trek run/ walk on Thanksgiving morning, please don't be scared by Wednesday's snow storm. We doubt the trail will be too covered with snow to run, AND we think if it is covered with snow, it will only be more fun and more pretty. So come anyway! If there actually is a lot of accumulation and the trail is covered, we will snowshoe it. That is to say, we'll be there anyway, so we hope you'll come too!

Sparrow Magazine: The Winter Issue is coming out in less than two weeks. Kelly and I are busy pulling it all together, and we are really excited to share it with you. Stay tuned! If you haven't already, you can follow us on facebook so you are totally in the loop about the release which will happen on December 1st.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving preparations and feast. Thank you for sticking with me!

Race Report: Extremely Fun and Incredibly Fast*

2011-11-21T16:11:00.002-05:00

* It's my blog. Allow me a little hyperbole.

My new tattoo and I ran a race on Sunday. The Brewer Turkey Trot is a nice 3- mile race of about 500 people, and I've run it for the past four years. It is usually painfully cold, but this year it was 50 degrees and sunny and perfect. I love this race because of the many familiar faces in the crowd, and because it's an out-and-back. I like the mental boost of the turn-around and the fact that you get to see the incredibly fast runners who are in the lead (winning time was a 4:59 pace) flying past you.

tattoos make you run faster.

Of course, I wanted a best time, but since my miserable half marathon in Portland, I haven't been on any kind of training nor have I done any speed work. I've just been going out for 3 or 4 milers and kind of running comfortably, which has actually been really nice. I went into Sunday's race just curious about what would happen if I tried to run fast, since I was pretty sure I had forgotten how.

I warmed up, stretched, and lined up probably too close to the front because I wanted to be close to the fasties. I went solo to this race and have no photos, but I stole this one off of facebook. I am in there somewhere.

I took off with the gun and felt good and fast but resisted the urge to look at my Garmin. I just listened to my music, felt the sunshine, and cruised along. When I passed the Mile 1 marker, I looked at my watch and it said: 8:04. I said out loud: what the? a favorite expression of Oskar, the adorable 10-year old narrator of the book I'm re-reading with my seniors, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I tend to start talking like the narrators of books I'm reading, so I've been saying what the? all the time just like Oskar.

8:04, I think, is the fastest single mile ever recorded in the history of Emilie Manhart. And I wasn't dying or throwing up. what the?

I decided right then that my goal for the rest of the race was to hang on and stay in the 8s for each mile. I saw lots of friendly faces in the crowd both before and after the turn-around. I high-fived some friends as we passed each other. I peeled off my long-sleeve shirt, fought against the urge to slow down, and kept pushing. Mile 2 was 8:40. Last year I finished in 26:30 so I would have been thrilled to get in under 26, and as I got close to the finish line I saw that the clock was still showing 25. I kicked it into high gear and finished in 25:31. One more minute shaved off. The last mile was 8:38. And I felt great. I felt awesome.

It is super obvious to me by now that if I go into a race with low or no expectations, I do much better than I do if I build up pressure on myself for a specific goal time. I do better if I pleasantly surprise myself. OR I was really tapered, OR my bird made me run faster, OR there is something lucky about the number 495. Or all of the above. Whatever the reason, it's extremely fun to PR.

In my very short and obsessively-documented running career, I have continued to get a teeny bit faster each year, and I'm aware of the fact that as I continue to age, that arc is going to head the other direction. I'll enjoy chipping away at my pace while it lasts.

To celebrate my PR, I went straight to the grocery store and got a week's worth of groceries. That's what champions do, I'm pretty sure.

Speaking of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, this book is extremely good and incredibly amazing. You should read it right away if you haven't. Look, I even went to see the author, Jonathan Safran Foer, speak at Colby College last week. He was, as I expected, interesting, articulate, and totally funny.

Jonathan Safran Foer

And speaking of funny, I made the two students I brought with me to the lecture stand behind Jonathan Safran Foer for a photo. When they see this photo, they will undoubtedly say: "that's awkward."

And that's one blog post about a race, a book, a lecture, and a tattoo. Happy Monday!

here you go!

2011-11-18T16:12:00.000-05:00

milestones

2011-11-17T19:19:00.000-05:00

Skyler finally lost her front tooth that has been wiggly, wiggly, wiggly for weeks!

And her mama?

You'll have to wait until tomorrow to see how it came out (it's kind of swollen tonight). I love it.

fall goodness

2011-11-13T18:47:00.000-05:00

I would love to tell you that I'm back to my old self and feeling just fine. I'm working on it.

I will tell you that I am filling myself up with nourishing things, surrounding myself with people I love, and trying to be outside as much as possible. This weekend included an 8 mile solo run, some great food, sunshine, prayer, wood fires, and lots of love from my kids.

It also included carrot apple juice, totally made by Reed. Skyler was at swim practice, so he relished in the chance to be the solo presser of fruits and veggies. I adore having an evening with one of my kids at a time.

The secret to the best carrot-apple juice is to add one whole lime. I'm serious. Run the whole thing through the juicer, peel and all.

Today when we woke up, and Sam headed south for a swim meet, it was so warm out and I decided that the kids and I were going to spend the whole day outside. And besides our morning at church, we did just that.

We took Jackson for a long hike down to the Penobscot on trails that my kids know really well because they hike all the time there with Sam. I just followed them, and they led me the whole way down to the river, about a mile with several turns. They were so confident. And Jackson matched the scenery perfectly.

dragon-hunting face.

photo by Skyler

rest stop.

Tonight we made a fire on the patio and stayed outside until the last possible minute. We even made s'mores. Meanwhile, I had a pot of this black bean and butternut squash chili simmering on the stove. I used this recipe but used kale instead of swiss chard and added some corn. It is sweet, smoky, hearty, and delicious. My kids said: "no thank you" and asked for pasta with butter and cheese. Honestly.

Skyler and I have been watching the Food Network together. I could tell she's watched a few too many episodes of "Chopped" when she started narrating my every move while I was cooking tonight: "And now she's going to chop the onion. She is opening a can of beans. What will she do next?"

Hope you all had a nice weekend. I have a very full, busy week ahead. Can you believe Thanksgiving is next week?

new york.

2011-11-06T14:54:00.001-05:00

My trip to New York was beautiful and good for me. But it was also kind of a case of "wherever you go, there you are."

Marjorie and I spent Saturday walking, walking, walking. Farmers Market, Flea Market, Brooklyn neighborhoods, shops, coffee, eating brunch, sitting by the river. We talked and talked and talked, cried, talked, laughed, etc., repeat. She was so very good to me.

I ate a lot of good food. Like this butternut squash soup with apples at Putnam's.

Saturday night we got our nails painted and then ate one of the best meals I've ever had at a Cuban place called Luz. Oh my goodness. We ate Peruvian Roasted Chicken with these spicy dipping sauces and sweet plantains and cilantro mashed potatoes and cubes of grilled Fillet Mignon with this spicy sauce and fried yucca. We ate Mexican Chocolate lava cake with coconut ice cream. Good grief. It was so amazing.

Sunday we got good NY coffee and hot-from-the oven NY bagels (I have some right next to me to take home and they smell so good) and watched the NYC marathon from Marjorie's neighborhood which was one giant party. So much energy. We were stationed at Mile 9.

After about 15 lead pace cars with sirens on and lights flashing, the elite men came by. And in a flash, they were gone. Holy smokes. (We missed the lead women when we were in the bagel shop. Darn.)

Hello, legs.

I had to head to the airport after a couple hours of marathon spectating, and I'm here now waiting to board my plane home. Thank you Margs, for taking me in.

And thank you everyone for the flood of comments, calls, emails, texts, and love. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the support. I feel it. Seriously.

where I've been.

2011-11-03T16:50:00.003-04:00

I have a friend from college who told me in an email that he stopped reading my blog a while back because my life just seemed too perfect and nice and beautiful, and it was painful for him to read.

Insert dagger. Into heart.

First of all, I hate thinking that I have written about my life in such a way that made it seem perfect, and second of all, it ain't perfect. Third of all, I would feel like a fraud if I did not fill you in a little bit about what has been going on with me. I have struggled with what to post for two months now, and I came very close to just letting the blog go, letting it die a slow death, and then I thought about my friend's words and it felt too disingenuous for me to leave the blog hanging after many of you have been with me for years.

This fall has been a season of struggle for me. I have let many responsibilities slip, have been a needy friend, I have been withdrawn, I have not been present with my kids, I have hardly cooked at all, I stopped cleaning the house. Getting lunches packed and groceries in the fridge has been a real challenge. My sadness has a physical weight to it that feels almost exactly like I've been walking around with one of those lead aprons they put on you in an x-ray room.

I may have a blog full of healthy recipes, smiling kids, and upbeat ideas about how to arrange your day for maximum efficiency and happiness, but if you were to stop by my house in the past 2 months, you would not have found me chopping veggies and whistling along to the radio. You wouldn't have found me baking scones or making soup. You would have found Sam working double time to take care of the house; I have not been pulling my weight. I am functioning in the world, for sure, but at times it felt like I was barely making it work. Things are not always what they seem.

And if you know me in real life and have seen me lately, I bet you aren't at all surprised.

Long story short: I am working through some tough issues. I am not telling you everything, nor do I think that you would expect full disclosure. I just wanted you to know that I am struggling. And coming from a person who swears that I never had one bad childhood memory (because I didn't) nor any legitimate reason to be unhappy, this is a lot for me to admit. I am currently climbing out from under a very dark cloud. Part of doing so means that I get to (in fact, I have to) stop pretending that everything is great or easy or full of sunshine all the time.

I have reached out to some but not all of my friends, but I am lucky to know, really know, that there are any number of my local and far away friends whom I could call up right now and show up at their house and be welcomed with total love and support. For the friends I have talked to, thank you for the fact that when I hear my cell phone vibrate in my purse, I am almost certain it is one of my people checking in to say: “I love you. I'm thinking of you today.” Sam, my mom, my brother, and my sister have totally had my back through all of this. It's humbling to have so much love around me.

My friends Suzanne and Sandi deserve medals of honor for the kind of friends they have been to me. I have them on speed dial. I show up at their house in a heap and they drop everything (and they are very busy) and sit me down on the couch and listen to me. I can't overstate how much I owe them. And, when it was Skyler's birthday and I was making cupcakes for her class, Suzanne showed up at my house to give me her freaking cupcake caddy. I wanted to laugh and cry. I so wanted to be the kind of mom who had a cupcake caddy, and I felt so far away from that world of an efficient, organized, cheerful mother. I would like to be Cheerful Cupcake Caddy Mom again soon. If there even is such a thing.

And boy, do I know what you are thinking: “Well, no wonder. You try to do too much.” I've heard it from so many people. “You are spread too thin. Something had to give.”

Teaching, parenting, grad school, marathon training, writing a blog, directing the pageant, organizing runs, editing Sparrow, running a household. Yes. I hear you. It's just that it never felt like too much before, and then all of a sudden, it was too much.

Do I try to manage too many things at once? Do I need to find some balance? Yes.
Is that all that's going on? Nope.
Do I need to stop running so much? Absolutely not. Running for me offers relief, perspective, medicine and therapy. And exercise.
How lucky am I that I am a teacher? So lucky. My job keeps me upbeat, engaged, and surrounded by smart, interesting students who laugh easily and often. Thank God.

Part of what makes me who I am is that I love to do a lot of things, and I like to keep busy and keep moving and be engaged in many interesting projects. Sitting still is hard for me. I'm working on it. I've cried a lot.

Thank you for sticking with me for so long. I'm not sure how this space will evolve in the future, but if I am not posting recipes or odes to happiness in the next little while, you'll know why. I am, however, hopeful and optimistic. As I write to you right now, I actually have a homemade chicken pot pie in the oven and a fire in the wood stove, NPR on the kitchen radio. This all must seem like very normal “One Mom in Maine” behavior, but it feels like a big shift for Emilie right now. I feel like I am coming back. And writing this post is part of the process.

I know this may bring up questions for many of you. Rest assured, I have so much support and I am in such good hands.

In the meantime, I am getting on a plane tomorrow and flying myself to New York City for the weekend to spend the weekend with Marjorie, one of my greatest friends and my personal therapist. I am anticipating much healing, good city vibes, and laughter with my friend. I'll let you know how it goes.

Halloween 2011!

2011-11-01T17:19:00.000-04:00

Super Girl and Thor, ready to go. I'll go ahead and publicly state that I miss the days of cute, fleecy, adorable costumes that my kids have outgrown. They are interested in thin super hero costumes, but that's okay too.

Together with the gang: Dr. Leah and bumblebees Maya and Ella.

We trick-or-treated in Lindsay and Andrew's great neighborhood AND they fed us an awesome dinner.

With Lindsay and Suzanne. See that snow behind us? Yeah, we aren't talking about that.

I love these girls. I'm so lucky to have the friends I do.

And I love my Mighty Thor.

I took four photos of Sam and Andrew, and they all looked like this. So there you go.

It was a beautiful but cold night, and despite the fact that I was layered up like crazy, I still got really cold. After a while, Lindsay and I went back to her house while the guys took the kids around the neighborhood.

I've been loving seeing all the costume photos of all of your adorable kids on blogs and facebook. My kids had a total blast and loaded up their plastic pumpkins full of loot. It's still such an unbelievable concept to them: "Every house is going to give us candy??" Yep, and mommy is going to eat most of your chocolate! Hope everyone else had fun too.

I will blog again before the week is up; I've got stuff to tell you. Promise.

Skyler swims (the video)

2011-10-24T06:38:00.000-04:00

Sam made a video of Skyler's swims. She has watched it just a few times :)

Skyler's First Swim Meet

2011-10-23T17:52:00.000-04:00

I have a feeling today was the first of many, many days that will be watching Skyler swim in swim meets. Sam's parents and my parents definitely logged many hours in the bleachers of very warm pools watching us swim, so I kind of feel like I joined that club today. This is Skyler just after she spotted me up in the bleachers. She was only a few minutes away from swimming her first event ever, and she was so nervous and excited.

Ready to dive in for the 25 free. Seriously adorable.

There she goes! She looked great. Sam has been taking her to practice and I haven't actually seen her swim in a while. I was so impressed with her little freestyle stroke. What a big girl.

A blurry shot of a happy and relieved swimmer.

Next up was the 50 free. Here she is coming back with Sam filming her and her bigger teammates yelling "Go Skyler!" Again, just adorable.

When she came up to the stands, everyone wanted a photo with our little superstar. First, Omom.

About seven hours later (slight exaggeration), she swam her last event, the 25 backstroke, which she swam beautifully. It's a miracle that Reed didn't hurt himself climbing up and down the bleachers, steal any donuts from the concession stand, or that he didn't try to jump in the pool (he wanted to so badly). We were all very proud.

Other things that happened today:
I carved big pumpkins on the patio by the fire with the kids, Skyler roller-skated and Reed rode his bike up down our street, and we ate a whole container of Suzanne's homemade applesauce. About Suzanne's applesauce, Reed said "this is so amazing. It tastes like strawberry shortcake."

I took Jackson for a trail run in City Forest like I often do, and after one mile, he totally disappeared. I went to my turn-around point at about 2.2 miles and he was nowhere to be found. I was calling him and calling him and getting myself all worried. I ran all the way back, almost to the parking lot before he came running toward me. When I got to the parking lot, there were all these nice, worried dog people who saw us and said: "Oh, PHEW!" They apparently had been hanging out with him on the trail and waiting to see that he had an owner. Jackson is usually the best trail running partner and stays right with me, so he must have smelled something especially tantalizing that steered him away from me. But we had a cute little running embrace on the trail, and all's well that ends well.

Lastly, file this one in "hilarious" or "miraculous": On Reed's first report card from preschool, he received all 1s (highest score possible) in the category of "Self Awareness and Self Control." After I saw it, I laughed all the way home. I mean, do you know Reed? Self Control. That is rich.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. It sure was beautiful weather here in Maine.

weekend.

2011-10-19T06:12:00.000-04:00

Lila and Joe, Sam's parents, were visiting the past two weekends. The kids are always so happy to have them here. See? Look at Skyler's face.

On Saturday, Sam had the cool opportunity to go to a swim clinic in Bath offered by two olympic swimmers. So, while he was off doing that, Skyler and Reed wanted their grandparents to watch them roller skate. Lila and Joe just bought Skyler her own pair of roller skates for her birthday, and so she has been wheeling herself around anywhere with a smooth surface.

This place is so funny to me. There are flashing lights and a DJ who plays 80s love ballads. Which I guess is exactly what you want in a roller rink, right?

Skyler, who was holding on to the wall for dear life the last 2 times we went, was showing off her new mad skills at the rink. She was so super proud.

Reed, well, had some dramatic wipe outs.

The girl gang: Skyler, Hayley, Ella and Maya. I love this photo because the girls look so tough, and because of Pattie, Ella and Maya's grandmother, proudly looking on from the side.

It was a beautiful weekend, so once we were done in the roller rink, we spent the rest of the day outside on the patio with a fire while Skyler colored and Reed got himself into trouble.

Unrelated bonus shot: My brother Chris, the coolest person I know, got home yesterday from a 10-day surf vacation in Panama. I adore this photo.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Race Report: MDI Marathon Relay.

2011-10-16T19:18:00.002-04:00

Oh, hi Mount Desert Island. What a beautiful morning for a marathon.

I left home at 6 am and drove with Amy to the island, thankful that Sam, Lila and Joe would entertain the kids for the day while I was free to be out in the sunshine with my friends.

Jen, Amy and I ran the 3-person relay and Susan ran the whole marathon. As for our other Sole Sisters, Suzanne couldn't run due to a pesky and unfair leg injury, and Christine couldn't join us this year because she is on a Mediterranean cruise. But they were both with us in spirit.

Susan, team of one. Jen, Amy and Emilie, team Maine Sole Sisters.

Because "Sole Sisters" was already taken. :(

At the starting line right before the gun went off.

Our plan was that our relay would also serve as support for Susan, and we'd each run our leg with her. It worked out so well. Jen and Susan set off at the start for the first 8.5 miles. Amy and I went back to the car and made our way to the first relay exchange which was in Seal Harbor.

I debated about shorts vs. pants, long sleeve vs. short sleeve, and finally made a choice and I was ready to go.

Right on time, Jen showed up to pass off to me with Susan right with her.

Susan and I set out for the next section. My leg of the relay was 10.2 miles. I was happy to be there for Susan who has been such a good friend to me. She was feeling great, but I knew she had a long way to go. I reminded her when to drink water, when to stop talking on the uphills, and encouraged her along. I also did what any good running friend does: I told her when there was a race photographer up ahead so she should pick up the pace and smile.

Once in a while, I'd say, "we're running 10-minute pace right now.. you sure you want to hold that fast?" She did. She was doing fine, running so strong even on the hills.

The 10 miles I ran with her were just so stunning. There is no way for me to explain it. We had long stretches of ocean views, dramatic cliffs, bright fall foliage, and beautiful ocean homes.

We played the "which house would you buy if you could have any one?" game. I found several ocean front, cedar shake beauties that would do just nicely in Northeast Harbor. The hills were definitely prevalent. Lots of rollers, up and down, up and down. So pretty.

Before I knew it, my leg was over. Here we are getting to the last relay exhange. Susan was getting tired but still running so strong.

Susan jumped into line for the port-a-potty and Amy got ready to bring her home.

Then, Amy and Susan headed off and we said we'd see them at the finish line. I changed clothes on the side of the road and switched into biking gear, grabbed my bike (which I brought down in my car, switched to Jen's car and then to Susan's car and back to my car), and rode to the finish.

I stopped at mile 20 (I think) to cheer for them as they ran past. Looking good, girls!

It was a pretty trafficky stretch so I didn't get to bike very fast, but it was fun to cruise alongside the marathon course and see everyone getting close to the end. It was also pretty cold and a little bit windy, so I was ready to find Jen and some warmer clothes.

Near the finish line in Southwest Harbor, Jen and I got coffees and bagels at a coffee shop which tasted about as good as anything I have ever tasted. We were both really cold and the coffee warmed us right up.

We calculated what time we thought Susan and Amy would show up, and were walking out to wait for them, when all of a sudden, there they were! 10 minutes ahead of what we thought.

So, Jen and I jumped onto the course to run together across the line with our coffees in our hand. The announcer made sure to make a joke about how amazing it was that we ran the whole marathon without spilling our coffee.

Susan finished in 4:35, which was a personal best for her, which is freaking amazing on a course like MDI. She surpassed her own hopes and totally impressed us all. Very graciously, she claims her secret weapon was having each of us to pace her for our leg of the relay. It all worked out so smoothly.

Another race medal, a cool green running jacket, and a beautiful day with my girls: check.

What a fantastic day. So proud of my friends.

Yesterday, before I left, I got my new shoes in the mail (I discovered ordering shoes from Ebay for a lower price). So, today's race was my last run in my old (left) Asics. They are tired out with a total of 493 miles.

When I opened my new ones, I said: "Hello, you." And Skyler said: "Mom, do you realize that you are talking to a pair of shoes?" Yes. And I take photos of my shoes too, kid.

Only 2 more races in 2011. And then it will be time to start talking about 2012 and some pretty cool ideas I have for where I'll go next.

Time for some pizza and a cold beer. More pics of Lila and Joe's visit coming soon.

i love this and i stole it from facebook.

2011-10-15T22:01:00.000-04:00

Turkey Trek 2011

2011-10-15T18:09:00.027-04:00

It's time to announce the 5th Annual Turkey Trek, a 4-mile trail run in City Forest in Bangor, ME on Thanksgiving morning, November 24th. 8:00 am start. Entry fee is any non-perishable food donation. Read on.

My friend Susan and I, with support from our friend Christine, started the Turkey Trek 5 years ago because we wished there was a local run on Thanksgiving morning. Because it was on Thanksgiving morning, we also decided to make it into a collection of donations for a local food pantry. It started small and has grown each year and we are quite proud of it. Last year, in 2010, we had well over 100 hundred runners and walkers on a very brisk, beautiful Thanksgiving morning. We have donated many, many trunk-loads of food to Manna in Bangor.

We'd love to have you join us this year.

Please spread the word to friends and family. Please know the event is not technically a race. There are no bib numbers nor a timing system. It is a gathering of people for a run or a walk through the woods, and it will make you feel good, and you will go home happy and ready to cook up your Thanksgiving feast.

Even though it's not a real race, we do offer some incentive to run fast. The first 3 runners to cross the "finish line" will receive a homemade pie for your Thanksgiving feast. Susan and I bake the pies and our pies do not suck.

Most importantly, this event is a way for all of us to be thankful for our resources. After four years of donating to one food pantry in Bangor, we decided to change this year's beneficiary. This year's donations will go to the Good Shepherd Food Bank, a organization that services all 16 counties of Maine and provides food to more than 36,000 people per week. Their website also provides information and education about hunger in Maine, as well as a great blog about the work they do.

The following is from their website:

Why are people hungry?
Basically, there's no good reason for people in Maine to go hungry. There's plenty of food. The problem has always been overcoming the economic and political obstacles that prevent food from reaching those who need it. Ending hunger means solving these more systemic problems while, at the same time, doing everything we can on a daily basis to feed hungry people.

Many people are hungry because they get sick or injured, a spouse or parent dies, or they lose their job or are unable to work. Unfortunately, these bad breaks happen all the time to people in all socio-economic conditions, forcing them to make painful choices like whether to buy food to eat or pay their rent or other living expenses.

We are honored to provide support and donations for The Good Shepherd Food Bank this year. Please join us.

So, mark your calendars and spread the word. Meet us for an 8 am start in the Tripp Road parking lot of City Forest in Bangor, rain or shine. The run or walk is a 4-mile loop of trail. Hope to see you there!

By the way, the company Build-A-Sign donated that banner in the photo. They are awesome. And despite Skyler's footwear in the photo, we don't recommend that you try to roller skate the Turkey Trek.

I'll post more reminders here and on facebook.

2011-10-13T19:57:00.001-04:00

Tonight was the third of three nights of parent teacher conferences from 4:30 to 7:30. It was quite a long week. Tonight I decided Skyler was coming with me to work. She stayed busy in the corner making a book of her drawings while I conferred with parents. She was so good. She filled my chalk board with her doodles and made a new drawing for my wall. And she just acted like giggly, happy Skyler the whole evening. I like take-my-daughter-to-work night.

I hadn't had time to run much this week, but today I was determined to sweat a little bit. I made it home by 3 today, quickly set out in the pouring rain for 3 miles (it wasn't much, but it felt good), went back home and showered and got back to work in time for conferences. Wow am I tired right now.

Speaking of running in the rain, here is the one and only race photo from the Maine Half Marathon two weeks ago. That is my "No, I'm not going to smile at you" race face. Remember, I run because it makes me so happy, can't you tell?

Speaking of running in races, this weekend is the MDI Marathon that I'm running as a relay. Last year we had a most spectacular day, and it looks like we are going to have good weather again this year. Here is the video I made last year of our relay and our gorgeous day. Watching this makes me very excited for Sunday.

Skyler's Birthday on the farm.

2011-10-10T21:02:00.001-04:00

When I rescheduled Skyler's 7th birthday party after she was sick 2 weeks ago, I didn't realize that many of her friends would be out of town because of the long weekend. Luckily, two of Skyler and Reed's favorite friends are sister-brother pair McKayla and Kristian, who were able to come along on our horseback riding adventure, and the four of them had a blast together. It was also a totally beautiful, warm fall Maine day and I went a little crazy with the photos. Four handsome kids on a horse farm and they were wearing cowboy hats? There was no slowing me down with the camera.

Sam with his parents, Joe and Lila

Skyler was a total natural on the horse, and we think we might send her here for horse camp this summer.

favorite shot of the day. That is my boy.

"Whoa!"

McKayla's turn! Also a total natural.

dudes eatin' pretzels out of their hats.

You try lighting 7 candles in the wind.

Happy happy birthday to my little cowgirl.

4 lessons learned.

2011-10-09T16:48:00.002-04:00

Four recent lessons I've learned.

1. Half Marathon: I never followed up about what I learned during my most recent half marathon in the rain. I have definitely thought about it, and have come up with some answers.

From a practical and physical perspective, I realized that I did not drink enough along the course, probably because I ran without my camelbak for the first time in a long time. It was so cold and rainy that I never felt thirsty, but when I thought back about how much I had to drink during the race, I could only come up with 2 sips of Gatorade and 3 sips of water. I didn't stop at every water stop, and never drank a full cup. Compared to what I usually drink, a full bladder of water and Gatorade in my camelbak, it makes perfect sense that I ran out of gas after mile 9.

From a slightly different perspective, I learned that when you run 13.1 (13.3!!) miles in the cold, pouring rain, that you should probably just be proud of yourself rather than bursting into tears of self-pity in your friend's minivan. Thanks to all the people who gently reminded me of this.

2. 4-year old on the Soccer Field.

Here is Reed warming up for his game on Saturday morning. He looks ready, right? Well, it turns out Reed likes the idea of playing soccer more than the actual playing of the game.

Sam's parents are here from Michigan. Everyone cheered from the sidelines and Skyler did some dance moves.

Reed just wasn't into it. He wanted to be with us, to go play on the playground, and to go home. His team was winning and there was plenty of excitement, but he just wasn't going after the ball. A few of the kids would take the ball and head for the goals, and the rest of the kids kind of look around or pick the grass. Sometimes the coach would enthusiastically yell: "Where's my Defense?" and I would just laugh. Reed (and the rest of the team) was clueless.

At half time, he was crying on the sidelines and wanted to go home. I used my impressive powers of ~~persuasion~~ bribery, and convinced him to give it one more try. Skyler walked him out to take his place while the coach yelled: "Where''s my Offense?" in reference to Reed.

When he couldn't pull it together to stop crying, his sister carried him off the field. Very dramatic indeed. We took him home.

I guess we learned that you have to be flexible with 4 year olds. I think if we pushed him too hard at this point he'd hate soccer later. Still, it was a bummer to take him home before the game was over.

#3: Improvising in the kitchen
Just so you know, if you try to make waffles but you don't have enough all-purpose flour, and instead you use cake flour, it doesn't work.

And if you try to turn the waffle batter into pancake batter instead, it will still be too thin and will make a terrific mess on the griddle.

And if you try to add some whole wheat flour to thicken it up, that's not going to work either.

So, you try to pretend it's a crepe batter and do it in the little non-stick pan... yeah, that's not going to work either.

But, the real lesson is that everything tastes okay with real maple syrup, and even if the waffles/pancakes/crepes are ugly, your family will still eat them happily.

#4: Getting a Flat.

On Saturday afternoon, I went out for a 20-mile bike ride on a truly beautiful day. At mile 5 when I was in the middle of Winterport, my rear wheel went flat. That has never happened to me before, and I've never changed a flat myself. I was screwed because I did not have my cell phone, and I would have had a 5 mile walk in bike cleats. And did I mention that I have this blister on my heel? (You know you want an updated photo). That walk would have absolutely sucked.

I had all the supplies I needed: a new tube, a little pump and tire levers. I figured I'd better at least try. I got the wheel off my bike, got the tire off, got the new tube in place and then tried to remember how I'd seen the guy at the bike shop do it this summer. I remember that he said a lot of things that started with: "It's really important that you..." and "it's absolutely imperative that you..." but couldn't remember any of the directions.

I spent at least 20 minutes wrestling with it to get the tire back on the wheel. I would get it almost all the way on and then it would start to come off on the other side. I was so frustrated. There must be a trick to get it back on more efficiently, and I just couldn't figure it out. Are you supposed to just muscle it? Or use more than one tire lever at a time? Eventually, I just got pissed off and decided to show it who was in charge. After countless more tries I finally got that freaking tire on, and I threw my arms over my head in victory. It was like that scene from Cast Away when Tom Hanks finally gets a fire lit after many, many tries and he runs around pounding his chest, shouting FIRE! I MADE FIRE! I was really proud of myself. I got my wheel back on and pedaled away feeling strong and happy. Due to the time I lost, I turned my ride into a 15-mile out and back, but it was still a great ride.

I learned that I shouldn't have waited until I was on the side of the road to learn how to change a flat. But, I also learned that I can figure stuff out if I just stay cool. By the way, to the many Winterport folks who drove past and looked at me while I was splayed out on the side of the road: I didn't need your help anyway.

I did it with my own greasy hands.

yes I did take a photo of my half marathon wound.

2011-10-05T20:04:00.001-04:00

I tried to run tonight because I needed to badly, and it didn't exactly work. I could only avoid the pain if I kicked my foot on the pavement in such a way that it pushed my foot to the front of my shoe, and let me tell you, that is a graceful approach to running. I bet I looked really good.

It's not that it's such a terrible blister, but it's in such an unfortunate spot. Dear heel, please heal. I need to run.

Seven

2011-10-05T19:36:00.000-04:00

Seven years ago today, Skyler came into our lives.

I vividly remember when she was 2 days old, and I sat on my couch holding her, sobbing. My mom asked me why I was crying, and (this is a little bit funny to me now because I know I was just pumped full of hormones and everything felt so enormously sad) I said: "I don't know what I would ever do without her." Well, hormones or not, my feelings are unchanged.

Skyler Elizabeth is a force. She is confident, funny, and gentle with all animals. She's nice to the underdogs, she shares her snack with the kid who doesn't have one, she looks out for the littler kids on the playground. She is also loud and boisterous and sometimes overwhelms me with her energy. Some mornings, she will only be awake for three minutes before she is belting show tunes from her bed.

Here she is sporting her birthday dress from her Aunt Liesel. She had a great day: opened presents at 6 am, brought 24 chocolate frosted cupcakes to school, had a birthday breakfast at the Carvers (chocolate chip pancakes) and her favorite dinner (Chicken Terriyaki and broccoli) and tonight we will read one of the new mystery chapter books I bought for us to read together.

Happy Birthday to my one and only girl. SEVEN. Wow.

rainy love

2011-10-04T06:23:00.000-04:00

I love this photo that Marlee's mom took just after Marlee finished the last leg of the marathon relay. She ran 5.2 miles, the longest she's ever run before, and we were both really proud. I remember when Marlee came into class proudly reporting she ran a mile without stopping, and the day she texted me: "3 miles!!!" I know exactly how she felt.

I'll never get tired of getting to witness people start running when they think they can't, and then surprise themselves with a new distance or time. I know we all know this, but it's about so much more than running.

All four of the girls who ran in the relay walked away talking about "next year." I can't wait to see what they do.

Race Report: Maine Half Marathon 2011

2011-10-03T06:26:00.002-04:00

Oh man. It was a wet one. I knew going into this race that it was going to be raining, but the forecast called for showers and what we got was a downpour for almost the entire race.

This is not one of my happiest race reports. Just a warning. It was about 15 minutes before the start of the race when the above photo was taken. That is Kate, about to run her first marathon, Libby, one of my former students who did the marathon as a relay, me, and Susan. We'd been standing out in the rain for about a half hour at this point, and well, we were wet and cold. Right after this photo was taken (Thanks, Tony!) I left the group to go check my bag and it took so long to do that, that I didn't find them again until well into the race course.

I managed to get to the starting line about 15 seconds before the canon fired. The crowds were thick and the runners were weaving all over the road to avoid the puddles, which is hilarious in hindsight, because there was no avoiding the puddles. It had been raining the whole day and night before. There were little rivers running along the roads. I think by mile one, both of my feet were fully immersed. It was hard to find a pocket of space to run, but I finally settled on running along the yellow lines which was the highest point of the road. By mile 3, I could feel a big, mean blister starting on my heel.

My goal for this race was to run the whole thing at an average pace of 9:50 which would have given me a 2:09 finish time. I might have started out a little too fast, but I was on pace and holding fairly strong through mile 9. (I hate going back through my Garmin after the race and seeing the exact moment that things fell apart). I can't say I was really having a great time running, but I felt strong and steady. I never got my ipod on because my hands were too cold, so I ran in the quiet for the whole race, just listening to the rain and the people sloshing in puddles. I tried to enjoy the ocean views and the bag piper and the nice volunteers. At the turn around I saw a lot of friends, lots of friendly waves and high fives, saw many familiar faces in the crowds on the side lines (may God bless you if you were a spectator on this most miserable day). Except for the oppressive rain, it was kind of uneventful.

At mile 10, I started to feel just plain tired. I did the "there is nothing you can't do for 3 miles" pep talk, and yet there went my pace. I felt the energy drain away. I slowed down by about 40 seconds per mile. Susan caught up with me at this point and knew I couldn't talk, so she stayed with me, just a few steps ahead of me, and tried to pull me to the finish. (She's such an amazing friend). The last 2 miles are so freaking long and torturous because you can see the finish line from about mile 11 and it looks soooooo far away.

I wanted to quit, cry, or walk as I realized that my goal was slipping away from me, but I didn't. I held on and stayed in the 10s for the last stretch. I crossed the finish line with nothing left. At least I can say that. I left it all out on the course, as they say. According to my watch, I finished in 2:13 something and the course was 13.3, which is just mean.

When I got my medal and some water and got in line to get my bag back, I looked at my left shoe. The blister was bleeding and had soaked through my sock AND my running shoe. It was a total Curt Schilling. It looked gross and impressive and tough, and I intended to take a photo of it for you, but by the time I waited in the highly inefficient line to get my bag (40 minutes), the rain had washed all the blood away. I'm trying to make this story as sad as possible. How am I doing?

Susan and I were near hypothermic by this point, shivering violently, and when I got back to her car, the tears came. I was frustrated and just basically miserable. Susan knows this about me, the post-race cry thing, and just lets it happen. It's not a race unless there are tears. That would make a catchy t-shirt, no?

After I pulled it together, I said: "You know, the thing is, I still learn something during each and every race." She said: (this is so Susan): "Oh yeah? So what did you learn?"

I have no idea. I'm too busy complaining about my blister. It really freaking hurts.

But I'm working on it, and I'll let you know in a few days. I'll also tell you about my friends Cate and Ben who took such good care of me all weekend and post about that soon.

Let's end this on a positive note, shall we?

We showered and changed and went back to the finish line to catch our girls, 4 former students, cross the finish line for the marathon relay. How cute are they?

It was worth it all to see these girls for a few soggy minutes. So much love.

Okay, I'll pull it together and write a follow up soon. I hope everyone who was there yesterday has successfully warmed up and dried out.

My writing life.

2011-09-30T15:49:00.007-04:00

The class I'm taking this semester for the degree I'm working on --Certificate of Advanced Study (C.A.S.) in Writing and the Teaching of Writing-- is a writing class conducted all through email correspondence, in which I write for and work with a real, live editor. That's the class. I write. The editor reads and responds to my work, and then I write more. This “class” doesn't involve a classroom and I don't know the other students, so I really get to pretend that I have an editor and that she is officially interested in my work. Part of this fantasy means I also pretend I have an agent and a beautiful writing studio full of plants and sunlight, a bottomless hot cup of coffee, and uninterrupted time to write.

Working with this editor, whose name is Anne, has been really good, hard work. I had to submit 12-15 pages of writing, of my choosing, that I wanted to work on as a starting point. My genre of choice is personal essay (not as in “it's personal” but as in, “I like to write about myself,” duh, I have a blog), and at the beginning of our work together, I sent her three essays. Within twenty minutes, she wrote me back and said that two of the essays were not worth working on because while they were “pleasant enough,” they had no “forward movement.” The third essay she liked, and by “liked” I mean she saw some “potential” as long as I was willing to start totally over.

I have to say that working with Anne is very much like taking medicine. I know that it is totally worthwhile to have someone who will tell you exactly what he/she thinks of your work, but it is a little hard to swallow. It's good for me, though. I mean, what's the point of working on my writing with someone who will just tell me that I'm great and talented and could I please be sensitive to the fact that I am moving her to tears with each and every paragraph? I don't get that from Anne. She uses phrases like: “cut this.” “trim this,” “you can't get away with using this shortcut,” “weak language,” “you are telling the reader what to think,” “you are over explaining,” and “this paragraph wants to die a slow death” (Okay, she didn't say that. I'm just being dramatic.).

I had a whole two-page section of the essay I am working on that I thought was fantastic, and she kept saying that it wasn't working and felt “tacked on.” Oh yeah? Well that's interesting. Because it was the part of the essay that I wrote first, so how could it be “tacked on?” I didn't actually say that. I did finally come to my own conclusion to cut that whole section out because it turned out to not really fit with the direction the new essay was moving.

The process reminded me of an amazing and totally influential creative writing teacher at University of Michigan I had during my senior year named Tish. Like Anne, Tish did not give praise freely and was brutally honest and sometimes very cutting. I loved her. I never had to wonder what she thought about my work, or me, or anything else. One night in class, we were talking about how sometimes we start with an idea or an image or a really lovely, lyrical line, and then as we keep writing that piece, it turns out the original idea or line doesn't fit anymore and we need to cut it. The way Tish explained this to our class: “Sometimes, you have to kill your babies.” I obviously never forgot the metaphor.

So, I deleted the two pages that I had started with and loved, and now, dammit, the essay works much better. Anne was right, okay? After my third draft and hours and hours of writing, Anne gave me some feedback I could be proud of. “Now you are doing good work.” “This is a powerhouse of a line.” “These images are so energized.” When she saw that I cut the whole section in question, she said: “We know we’re becoming better writers when we start throwing away the good stuff. That section was good stuff, but difficult to incorporate into this essay.” So, the baby was a nice baby, but I had to kill it anyway.

Working with Anne has made me think a lot about my own role as a writing teacher; I tend to err on the side of being really encouraging to student writers and celebrating their strengths. I employ the compliment sandwich when I comment on student work: “You have done excellent work here. The middle section needs reworking. Overall, I'm really proud of this draft.” I save the harsher criticism for the kids I know can take it because they see themselves as writers already and have confidence in their craft. Being a writing student is good for me as a writer and as a teacher. I like to work hard for Anne. I love getting her emails back and reading her careful notes and comments. In the end, a compliment from someone who is brutally honest and clear means so much more. I feel totally motivated to write more and work harder.

The essay I'm writing is about the process of dying and being born told through the experiences of my dad's death and Skyler's birth. I might share it here eventually.

Speaking of good writing, try reading a chapter of Bossypants during a quiet study hall in a classroom full of hard-working teenagers and not spit out your water. I dare you.

I'm off tomorrow to run the Maine Half Marathon in Portland. This is the race I've been training for since August, so I'm looking for a smart, strong race. Gun goes off Sunday at 7:45 am, so good vibes, please!

highs and lows

2011-09-26T06:14:00.002-04:00

Saturday was a total wash out. I did a semi-long run in the morning in the pouring down rain. My shoes made a squooshing sound for the whole (almost) 7 miles and I was soaked through to the skin.

Didn't my mama tell me not to run in the rain when I'm fighting a cold? Oh yes, she did. And she tells me often.

Even so, I'm feeling a little better now, and I was supposed to run 10 miles and only ran 7, which proves that I'm still a reasonable person.

The rest of the bummer that was Saturday included no soccer game for Reed (pouring), Skyler coming down with a fever and general misery which caused us to cancel her afternoon horseback riding birthday party. Yes, there were tears.

We dried out our shoes, watched some movies, listened to the rain, rescheduled the birthday party for 2 weeks from now, and ate popsicles to make us all feel better.

The rest of the weekend was brightened up by a visit from my aunts and uncles, 2 of whom flew in from Virginia and 2 drove from California.

That's my mom and her two sisters Ann and Ellen

Uncle Al, Uncle Dickie and Sunny the dog.

And me with my two favorite aunts.

We took the kids and the dogs for a ride/ walk on the UMaine bike trails. It was unseasonably hot and surprisingly buggy. Just ask Reed, who rotated between: "I'm too hot," "I'm too itchy," and "I'm too tired to ride my bike," for most of the trip. Jackson and Sunny didn't complain. They look like long-lost siblings and ran like wild the whole time.

I tell Skyler that if she keeps making that face to the camera, it's going to end up on the blog.

We are off into another busy week. I'll leave you with two funny things Reed said:

A neighborhood kid who comes over to play at our house pretty often mentioned to Reed that his mom wasn't at home. Reed gave him an understanding look and said: "Oh. She's at a marathon?"

Reed colored on 3 pages of paper and asked me to tape them together into a book. He said, "This is going to be a present for Bella" (a friend at school).
Me: "I thought Bella wasn't your friend anymore?" (he'd told me so on Friday).
Reed: "I know, but I thought if I gave her this book she'd be my best friend again."
a few minutes later:
Reed: "Actually mom, you're right. I'm going to give that book to Charlotte."

Soccer for Reedo

2011-09-22T19:54:00.003-04:00

When I told Reed that he was going to be on a soccer team this fall, he threw his hands above his head and said: "YES. I'm a big kid."

His time had come. He's been waiting to be able to do what the big kids do for years. I guess that's the curse of the younger child; he's watched Skyler be on a soccer team and head off to swim practice and we're always telling him he'll get to do all the cool stuff when he gets bigger.

Well, he's bigger! But soccer has still been a series of false starts because his first two practices were rained out.

He's flexible though. He's just excited to have his new shin guards and cleats and a handsome navy shirt. Last weekend while I was running the MDI Half Marathon, Sam took Reed to his first game.

They did some drills for a few minutes and then the game started. Sam said it was pretty funny, but that Reed got right in there and chased the ball.

Not sure what's happening here, but good job, Reed!

The next game is Saturday, and (if the forecast changes and it doesn't rain as predicted), I'll be cheering from the side lines.

Other newsy bits:
My body has been threatening to become sick all week, but so far it's just tightness in the chest and generally not feeling great. I have another half marathon in a little more than a week, so I'd like to just get on with it and get the freaking cold already so I can start getting better. Many of my students are sick. It's the inevitable back-to-school cold.

I still managed to have some great runs this week: one lovely run out in the country , one on trails along the Stillwater (thought of you as always in Orono, Steph) and one on the track during which, well, I ran pretty damn fast. Fall is such a perfect time to run.

Today I started reading Bossy Pants by Tina Fey and I'm in love with it already.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Celebrating my mom; Race for the Cure video

2011-09-19T06:35:00.003-04:00

This weekend was a celebration of my mom beating cancer. I sometimes forget how amazing it is that she not only survived the mental anguish of a cancer diagnosis and the physical trauma of a double mastectomy, but she also recovered, kept a positive attitude, and built herself up to being able to run 3 miles all in the same 9 month span. Her dedication to running has been so cool to witness.

We went to a Survivors' Banquet on Saturday night on the eve of the Race for the Cure. It was a very nice event, but the real fun began on Sunday morning.

A few notes before you watch the video: My friend Nancy graciously ran ahead of us at the end to capture the finish line, so there are a few seconds of shaky video while she was running, but you need to hear the audio of the announcer calling my mom's name. The music is: "Run for Life" by Melissa Etheridge and "Happy" by Natasha Bedingfield.

Enormous thanks to all of the following for making this so special for my mom:
Skyler, Suzanne, Jan, Ella, Maya, Doug, April, Lindsey, Andrew, Leah, Nancy, Alan, Madeline, Jamie, Jeremy, Lois, Bill, Susannah, Susan, and Jenn. It was also so good to see so many other friends at the race. What a gorgeous day and an impressive event. We don't have an official time, but she ran her 5K in about 36 minutes. How cool is that?

Lastly, many many times this spring and summer my mom would say to me: "Running mostly just feels hard; when do I get to feel the exhilaration?" Check her out when she crossed the line. I think she got her answer.

Race for the Cure from Emilie Manhart on Vimeo.

Race for the Cure {in one photo}

2011-09-18T12:47:00.000-04:00

Many, many more to come.

Race Report: MDI Half Marathon 2011

2011-09-17T22:15:00.004-04:00

This is me coming through the finish line chute. I look like I was suffering and working really hard. I guess I was focused on the end, and I forgot to smile. This photo does not actually capture anything about my race today. I had an amazing day and am really excited to write this race report.

But can we back up for a second? Let's quickly recap the previous races of 2011.
Mid-Winter Classic, Cape Elizabeth in February: Cancelled (twice) due to snow and ice.
Race the Runways Half Marathon, Brunswick in April: Day after a huge snow storm, and very cold with biting wind.
Sugarloaf ~~Marathon~~ (too sick). Sugarloaf 15K in May: Pouring rain and cold
Vermont City Marathon, Burlington, May: High heat and humidity. Extreme weather warnings throughout the course.
Danskin Triathlon, Webster, MA, July: High heat and humidity plus a trip to the ER.
Beach to Beacon, Cape Elizabeth, August: High humidity. Gross.

And then ...
MDI Half Marathon, Bar Harbor, ME: 50-60 degrees, no humidity, blue skies, perfect day.

Can I get an Amen? I mean FINALLY, a race in which the weather worked in my favor. Ideal conditions. If I'd had a bad race today, I would have been digging deep to find anything to blame.

That's better. That shows you how I felt today.

I have run this race 4 times, and every time I have it's been a day like today, but knowing the streak I've had in 2011, I figured it would be hot, or there would be a hail storm, or a tornado, or at least some extreme humidity.

At the finish line with Susan, my good friend and partner in crime

I started the day early with a gorgeous drive to the island with Suzanne drinking coffee and listening to Brandi Carlisle and feeling calm and excited. Today was not my "A" race of the fall, as I have been more focused on the Maine Half Marathon in Portland in 2 weeks. So today I was relaxed, treating this race as a solid training run. We had plenty of time this morning. We met up with Susan and her husband Liam who was running his first half today. We stretched and ate and relaxed. Apparently we had too much time, because my friends started talking about how important it is to have your will in place in case we die. Let me tell you... great pre-race pep talk right there.

It was remarkable for me how calm I was walking to the starting line. I get nervous for every race, and for some reason, I was just super calm today. I enjoyed and appreciated the lack of nerves. I lined up with Suzanne, Susan and Liam, listened to the national anthem, felt grateful to be where I was on this day, and then we were off.

This course is very challenging with 3 big, long hills and lots of rollers in between, so my approach has always been to just do what I can do.

I had been directed to do a few things: relax, take it easy, take it especially easy on the downhills to preserve my quads, and try to get my mile splits to be fairly consistent, so that is what I set out to do.

Here's the breakdown:

Mile 1 goes right through Bar Harbor and along the water and it always smells like the ocean which smells like vacation. All good vibes.

Mile 2 goes straight uphill through a neighborhood and ends up on the Carriage Trails, the wide, groomed dirt trails that make up 9 miles of the course. I slowed down a good bit on the uphill, but felt strong and steady. Great start.

Miles 3-4: I felt great and in control, but I started to get hot. I took off the long sleeve shirt and wrapped it around my waist. I was now running with my arm sleeves for the first time (loved them). I eventually pulled them all the way down to my forearms which was perfect. I appreciated the beautiful course, which by now was dirt trails, rolling hills and lots of shade with bright sunlight filtering through.

Mile 5: I put my music on, still felt great. When I passed my friend Nancy's mom Lois, I shouted: "Can you take my shirt?" And I whipped it off from around my waist and threw it to her. I had on my baseball hat and sunglasses, and I realized by her blank stare that she had no idea who I was. She figured it out after a few minutes, but I laughed at the thought of a race spectator being thrown a sweaty long sleeve shirt by a stranger.

Mile 6: feeling great but waiting for the dreaded uphill mile coming next.

Mile 7: The hill! It's a long steady climb for an entire mile. I started up and felt good, and kept going, and still felt good. I kept asking myself how I was doing, and myself kept saying: Damn good! This is so weird! I'm still running! For the first time in my history of this course, I never walked one step up that hill. I ran slow and steady and thought about being in a low gear on my bike and just churning away. It was over before I knew it.

Mile 8: The blessed, beautiful gift of a mile. It's all gradually down hill. During this mile, I felt about as happy and strong as I have ever felt on a long run. I was alone, my music sounded extra good, I felt like I was flying, and I made an inventory of all the things I was thankful for. Thank you for the sunshine, for Eagle Lake, for this day, for Maine in September, for my family for allowing me to do this, for my friends, for my coach for pushing me, for my running friends, for my body. I think I even thanked my shoes and socks. I'm telling you, I was in a very good place.

Miles 9-10: Not sure what to tell you. More beautiful scenery. I felt strong and in control. Still happy.

Mile 11: Out from the carriage trail and onto the regular roads again. I looked at my watch and realized that if I just held on, I'd have a new course PR. Hey, I thought there was a mean uphill on this part? It seemed much better this year.

Mile 12: The hill that previously sapped me of everything I had left? No problem.

Mile 13: Downhill. Home sweet home. Really nice self talk went on during this mile, like: "You've got this." "You own this." "Just bring it home."

I finished in 2:13, which is a 3 minute PR for this course, and is only 2 minutes off my all time PR. Considering this beast of a course, and how strong and in-control I felt, as in, I was not pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I was super happy with that.

Mile 1: 9:41
Mile 2: 10:43 (all uphill)
Mile 3: 10:12
Mile 4: 10:19
Mile 5: 10:08
Mile 6: 10:06
Mile 7: 11:35 (all uphill)
Mile 8: 10:04
Mile 9: 10:13
Mile 10: 10:19
Mile 11: 10:05
Mile 12: 10:24 (worst hill on the course? what hill?)
Mile 13: 9:20
Last .1: :39

I think those splits (the non-enormous hill miles) look pretty consistent. I relaxed. I took it easy. I didn't even have a low moment. Not one. And I still had some gas left in the tank at the end.

My times for the 4 years I've run this race are, in chronological order: 2:31, 2:25, 2:16, 2:13. Chip, chip, chipping away.

My mom and Skyler were there at the finish to see me in. I found Susan and Liam.

Suzanne, who impressively ran with an injured leg, came cruising across the finish line with a huge smile.

What a strong finish.

My crew:

My friends Nancy and Alan both had huge PRs today too.

Huge thanks to my mom for coming down and bringing Skyler with her.

After the race, I grabbed an awesome Veggie and Hummus Sandwich on a bagel from Morningglory Bakery in Bar Harbor and a lemonade for the ride home. Suzanne and Skyler and I drove away, past stunning ocean views just bursting with sunshine. What a seriously good day. Did I mention that I needed a great day? And I got it.

(this post is sponsored by a large cup of Starbucks at 3:00 pm)

attention local runners!

2011-09-16T06:06:00.000-04:00

My friend Jason who teaches at John Bapst High School in Bangor asked me to help spread the word about this cool, local 5K for an excellent cause, and it has been totally organized by high school students on the Environmental Action Committee. All proceeds benefit the BARKA Foundation, which works to provide clean water and sanitation skills to the people of Burkina Faso, Africa, a small, land-locked country in west Africa.

I actually will be running a half marathon in Portland on the same day, but if any of you are thinking about or looking for a 5K, this looks like a perfect one.

Here are the details:

WHEN: Sunday, October 2
Registration at 9:00 am, and Race at 10:00 am

WHERE: Bangor Waterfront

WHO: Runners and walkers

MORE INFO: The students even made a terrific website about it where you can pre-register (which they are strongly encouraging).

Spread the word to any and all runners you know. Thanks!

September catch up.

2011-09-15T18:18:00.002-04:00

This facebook post is what I came home to today after a very long and hard day. Thanks to the very talented Maine Maven for the unexpected and very timely love, and for the reminder to get my butt back on the blog. Almost a week went by between posts which is not a tremendous deal except that if you know me, you know that's a departure from a norm that has been consistent for almost 5 years. Something had to give. I've been pretty stressed.

September is the most beautiful month in Maine. The air is so lovely and crisp, the sun is bright, the sky a deep blue. It's one of the best times of the year for running and being outside. It's also a time of beginnings and fresh starts with a fresh crop of students for me, and new exciting changes for my kids. But September has come to be a time in my life that is not always so happy. It reminds me of the loss of my dad, it reminds me of the loss of my best-dog-ever Charlie, it is the end of a really care-free time, and the beginning of a very busy schedule that feels as if it leaves no time to breathe.

My big girl started 1st grade with ease. She has her best friend Ella in her class. Thanks to the incredible generosity of my friends Sandi and Suzanne, Ella's moms, Skyler spends every morning before school at their home. This makes my mornings so easy, because as I leave her eating her breakfast in the mornings, I kiss her good bye and say: "Say hi to the girls!" and she is cheerful and there is no anxiety and I know she is in the most loving hands.

Skyler is swimming on the swim team with Sam and will even swim in her first meet next month. Is it too soon to start crying tears of pride yet? Just picture her little self diving off the block. I promised her a "Go Skyler" sign like the "Go Mommy" signs she always makes for me. She also had her first piano lesson this week.

I drop Reed off at pre-school on my way to work. Reed has also had an easy transition back to school, for which I am so thankful. He says goodbye to me with a kiss and a confident little wave out the window. When I arrive on the playground at the end of the day, he runs for me and jumps into my arms. I know this won't last forever, so it is an especially sweet part of my day.

Reedo's personality is borderline outrageous. He is getting quirkier and quirkier. His latest obsession is having us tape him up in this criss-cross manner with medical tape so that he looks like a warrior. He sleeps with this tape across his chest and cries really big, sad tears in the morning when we won't let him wear the tape to school.   Is there a chapter on this in the parenting books?

He also had a very heartbreaking cry in LL Bean because while we were there to get him a fall jacket, I would not buy him a girls' lavender fleece jacket in size 2T. The sleeves came up to his elbows and it would not zip, and yet? It was the only jacket he wanted. If they had it in his size, I probably would have gotten it. We finally, after many tears, settled 0n an orange fleece-lined sweatshirt. Phew.

Tonight was supposed to be his first soccer practice ever, but it was canceled due to rain.   That was sad for Reed, but also potentially hilarious, because his team is playing their first game this Saturday, and the kids will have never had a practice. A field full of 4-year olds playing soccer is up there on the list of cutest things ever. But they are going to be even cuter in that they will have not a clue what they are doing, but you know they will run their little hearts out anyway.

As for me, I have 5 classes packed full of awesome kids. I have stacks of essays on my desk. I am reading The Things They Carried with my seniors and saying things like: "Is that not the most beautiful passage you have ever read in your entire life?" I am loving being able to write and talk about writing with my Creative Writers. My freshmen are eager and excited and adorable.

All good things. And yet, I've just been having a tough September. So please stick with me.

Running continues to be one of the best parts of my life. It gives me a chance to clear my head and relieve some stress. Thanks to the training plans and encouragement from my coach Roger, I've been super consistently getting in the miles both on the road and on the track.   And not to brag or anything, but my legs feel good, I'm getting faster on the track, and I chased down the speedy middle school boys of the cross-country team while doing my speed workout yesterday, and I smoked them. It's the little things, people.

This weekend has two great things happening: Saturday is the MDI Half Marathon. This will be my 4th running of this beautiful course, and my 11th half marathon. I'm very excited and feel like I really need the rush of a race and a great day with my running friends.

On Sunday, I will be running the Race for the Cure next to my mom. You may remember that my mom got and beat breast cancer in 2011. She has been training for this 5K race all summer, and I couldn't be more proud to run next to her. You can anticipate an over-the-top-emotional video to show you how it all went.

it cuts deep: a book review

2011-09-09T07:07:00.002-04:00

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Once every few years, I read a book that kind of takes over my mind. This book, Cutting for Stone, just made its way onto my top ten life list (I'll repost the list at the bottom). I think I've written about this before, but all of the books on the list have the same key elements: rich, complicated characters, beautiful prose, compelling story, and most importantly, they deal with issues that wake something up in me, that grab hold of my understanding of the world and myself in it, and shake it up.

This book is, epically so, a fantastic read. It is a page-turner once you get into it, yes, but more importantly for me, it is so beautifully written that it breaks your heart a little.

Here is the quick summary taken from the back of the book:

"Marion and Shiva Stone are twin brothers born of a secret union between a beautiful Indian nun and a brash British surgeon. Orphaned by their mother's death and their father's disappearance, bound together by a preternatural connection and a shared fascination with medicine, the twins come of age as Ethiopia hovers on the brink of revolution."

When I finished this book, I truly felt like I know and love Marion and Shiva, and I miss them now that the book is over, these totally human, imperfect, smart, complicated characters. I am in awe of writers who create and mold such rich characters, so tangible that they become parts of the lives of the readers.

PLUS, a lot of this book takes place in the medical world, as the parents of the twins are doctors and the twins become doctors. There are many in-depth scenes about surgery and patient care. I love this stuff. I think I was supposed to be a doctor or nurse in another life. I am endlessly fascinated by surgery, medicine, and hospitals, so long as my children are not the patients, please and thank you.

So, yes, I recommend this book to you if you like kick-ass writing, rich characters and all things medical. I will also warn you that it has incredibly sad elements. I have no idea if this book will do to you what it did to me. It's kind of like I had a relationship with this book. It may not be the same for you.

Here are the other books (in no particular order) that had the same effect on me. After I typed each title, I am tempted to add: "Oh God... such a good book."

1. Angle of Repose: Wallace Stegner
2. Catcher in the Rye: J.D. Salinger
3. Atonement: Ian McEwan
4. Lolita: Vladimir Nabakov
5. The Great Gatsby: F. Scott Fitzgerald
6. Eat, Pray, Love: Elizabeth Gilbert
7. Middlesex: Geoffrey Eugenides
8. Pride and Prejudice: Jane Austen
9. Passage to India: E.M. Forster
10. Cutting for Stone: Abraham Verghese

Totally unrelated update: I saw an allergist this week. At first we talked about what happened to me in Boston, and he was sure it was just a weird combination of fatigue, dehydration, something I ate, and other unknown conditions that he thought created a "perfect storm" that landed me in the ER. Just to be sure, he did a skin test for shrimp. Lo and behold, I actually AM allergic to shrimp. I can't tell you how happy that made me. I wanted to hug him. I hated the idea that this weird thing that couldn't quite be explained could happen to me again any day. No more shrimp for me.

Have a good weekend!

week/end recap.

2011-09-05T18:46:00.001-04:00

Last week's meal planning went really well. For 3 whole days.

Monday I made turkey, brie, and apple sandwiches.

Tuesday, black beans with peppers and tomatoes, and plantains with onions and cumin and avocado.

Wednesday I did an evening track workout and by the time I got home and showered, it was 8:30 before we ate dinner, and it was dark, so I didn't photograph it. It was the spinach salad and chicken sausage.

Thursday? I forgot we had Skyler's back to school open house BBQ, so we ate there.

Friday? I was toast. We got pizza. So, two of the meals I had planned for last week will get bumped to this week, and so it goes.

Sam did make a beautiful 6-course meal on Saturday night as a thank you to Sandi and Suzanne who watch Skyler in the mornings. It was dark, and I didn't take photos of any of the dishes, which were truly impressive. Here are two photos that Sandi took during our dinner. Check out the look I'm giving Suzanne. Not sure what that was about.

We sat and talked and ate until it was totally dark. I love these friends so very much.

This morning, I ran the Labor Day Bangor 5-mile road race. I was advised by Roger, my coach (yep, he's still coaching me and it makes me very happy) to run it at half marathon pace and aim for 9:51 per mile. He is seriously that specific/demanding. I ran a 49:23 which is a 9:52 pace. Close enough, right? Unfortunately, that pace was supposed to feel like I was holding back, and because it was so humid (again? yes, shocking, I know) I actually had to kind of work for that pace. But I did it.

I spent the rest of the day soaking in the hot tub at UMaine's rec center with Suzanne, Ange, and our kids. We made our kids run around the track before and after swimming in hopes to tire everyone out.

Tomorrow, after all, is a big day. This kid starts 1st grade. Gulp.

Thankfully, she is so excited and only a tiny bit nervous. She has her best friend Ella in the very same class, and that has been huge in terms of giving her peace of mind and confidence. I think she's ready. I love her so much it hurts.

And we're off and running into another busy week!

It's Septemberd 3rd again.

2011-09-03T14:54:00.002-04:00

8 years ago on September 3rd, my dad died at 2:30 in the morning. This morning, as I seriously do on each anniversary of his death, I found myself awake at 2:30, and I never went back to sleep, just got up a few hours later to go running.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you are used to these posts about my dad on his birthday and on the anniversary of his death. I just feel the need to publicly acknowledge how I feel all the time, which is that I miss my dad.

I ran 9 miles of trails this morning and thought about him the whole way. I'm feeling drained from the past few weeks and rather teary, so that is pretty much all I have for you today. Hope everyone has a nice long weekend.

three, two, one, LAUNCH!

2011-09-01T04:58:00.001-04:00

It's September 1st. Do you know what that means?

Last Spring, as you may remember, my friend Kelly and I had an idea to create an on-line magazine that brought together all of our favorite things: healthy eating, fitness, art, home, outdoors, and adventure.

Well, we did it. The first issue of Sparrow Magazine is live as of today, as promised.

We are so proud to see all the work of so many awesome contributors come together. It was a ton of work, but it was a labor of love. Kelly and I make a great team and worked seamlessly together, but Kelly has really been amazing in her determination. She's a task master, and we might not have made this deadline without her focus and her countless late nights of work. We also owe much gratitude to Kelly's husband Erik who worked very hard with us on this project and was clutch in saving us from some technical glitches. Hooray for smart, technically-minded people.

Issue #1 has 23 articles for you to read. You probably won't read them all in one sitting, but you will enjoy cruising around our homepage, and looking at the list of our contributors. And then you can come back tomorrow morning to read some more articles.

So, without further ado, pour your coffee, and get reading!

Happy Sparrow Magazine Day! (oh, and Happy First Day of School to all of my new students too!)

Meal Planning: I can do this.

2011-08-29T15:55:00.000-04:00

Ironically, I don't cook as much in the summer when I have more time. I just feel like we are always coming and going, so I don't get organized to get a week's groceries at a time. Instead, I shop a little here, a little there, we order pizza, we eat sandwiches, it's anarchy.

Going back to work this week means getting back into a routine. In order to survive, I have to plan my meals and shopping, have enough supplies for school lunches, stock the kitchen with quick, healthy breakfasts for the kids, and aim for ONE trip to the grocery store, and one farm share pick up per week.

I am determined to get back on a meal plan, which means mapping out a week's worth of dinners before I head to the store. I try to stick with this during the school year, but I inevitably have weeks when I fall off the wagon. But I am invigorated and determined and ready to go!

We start today!

Monday: Turkey, apple and brie sandwiches.
Tuesday: Sauteed plantains and black beans
Wednesday: Zucchini fritters and spinach salad
Thursday: Chicken sausages with Spinach, nectarine and pecan salad.
Weekend: A big pot of White Bean Chili (if it's good, I'll post the recipe).

Sam and Reed were back to school today while I took Skyler for a back-to-school haircut, some new clothes and (my all time favorite) school supplies! That is a dream day, right there.

Happy Back-to-School, everyone!

grand finale.

2011-08-28T16:54:00.001-04:00

We are currently riding out Hurricane Irene, which, by the time it got to Maine, had become Tropical Storm Irene. It is basically a very dark and rainy day with some interspersed crazy-hard down pours and high winds. We are hoping not to lose any trees around us and hoping to keep power through the evening when the winds are supposed to be the highest. The kids are working on shrinky dinks. It's a nice stay-at-home kind of day.

We got the most out of our last weekend, and sent off SUMMER 2011 with a bang.

Friday, Sand Beach.

Remember when I rode the Park Loop Road on my bike in July? This was one of the most beautiful points along that ride, at which point I shouted out: "I can't believe I live here!" I feel that way each and every time we visit this part of Maine. Amazing.

I also took the kids to Thunder Hole, where you walk down some steps along the rocky coast and stand above a cave. When the waves crash in, it makes a loud thunder sound. It was slightly terrifying to stand there with the kids that close to the pounding surf, especially because Reed kept saying how much fun it would be to surf. Yikes.

Saturday morning, we drove to Rockland, Maine for Sam's longest race of the year. It was a 3.2 mile ocean swim that goes along this break wall with a beautiful lighthouse at the end of it. It was a bit foggy, but got more clear as the morning went on. We walked to the end of the wall and got to see Sam on his way back from his first loop.

We made it to the end and climbed to the top of the lighthouse. It was beautiful up there.

Right on cue, Sam showed up at the turn-around for his 2nd loop while we were up top (look between the black bars and you'll see Sam's orange cap). We could see just how much he was in the lead.

Looking back to shore from the lighthouse:

The lighthouse keeper even turned on the light for the kids, and the fog horn was VERY LOUD from right in this very spot. They were thrilled.

Sam is right in the middle, making the V formation in the water:

On his way to the finish line, we had to jog along the wall to keep up with him. We heard many onlookers saying things like: "That guy is unstoppable!" "Do you know him?"

Crossing the final buoy, breaking the course record by 3 minutes.

We don't get to go to many of Sam's races, and it was an honor to be there to see him win and get his awards.

After Sam's race, I got in a bike ride and then we switched gears to head down to the American Folk Festival for the night. I left Sam passed out on the couch, and braved the festival on my own with 2 (excited and over-tired) children. Thank goodness we had just walked in when we spotted Sandi, Suzanne, Ange and Matt and all of their kids. We quickly became one large group and had a total blast all together.

As we walked through the very crowded festival with 6 kids, I could hear all of the adults, every 2 minutes, doing a head count. "1-2-3-4-5-6. Okay, phew." Or, more often, "1-2-3-4-5.... where's Reed?"

Free milk and cookies from the Stonyfield Milk Man. He kindly "didn't notice" when we walked past again and had seconds.

Suzanne and Sandi borrowed baby Beckett for some giggles:

Sklyer dancing with Suzanne's mom Jan. Adorable.

If you spy some band aids on Skyler's legs, that would be the outcome of running the Breakwater trying to keep up with Sam.

And last but not least, here is Reed breakdancing to the Irish Fiddlers.

And with that, I dragged them both back to the car. It was a wonderful weekend indeed.

Since I started writing this post, the wind has really picked up. All of our trees are going crazy out there. Let's hope we don't have any dramatic crashing sounds!

Hope everyone else braved the storm without incident. Happy Sunday and end-of-summer to you!

he's a winnah.

2011-08-27T17:20:00.001-04:00

I have a bunch of more photos from our weekend, but just wanted to put this up for now. Sam swam in the Rockland Breakwater 3.2 mile Swim this morning and he came in first overall (1:08!) and smashed the course record by 3 minutes. It was really fun to be there to cheer for him and watch him come in so far ahead of anyone else. We are kinda proud.

life lessons.

2011-08-26T21:04:00.005-04:00

I spent eight mornings this summer teaching creative writing to adults with severe physical disabilities. It was my second summer teaching at this program, and I have hesitated to write about it, for several reasons.

I can't really share much about these students. I can't tell you the incredible stories I've learned about the kind of lives they have led. I can't share their names.   But also, all the things I want to say about my experiences with them feel so incredibly cliche. I mean, seriously.

It was my pleasure to teach these students.

I have learned to see their abilities, not their disabilities.

They taught me more than I taught them.

I'm a better person because of the time I spent with them.

See what I mean? And yet, those statements are all true.

I'm embarrassed to tell you how nervous I was when I first started. There were seven students, most of whom have cerebral palsy. Five of them have very slurred speech and are hard to understand. One of them has extremely slurred and labored speech and is almost impossible to understand. One doesn't speak at all.   I had never taught, let alone spent any time, with people so disabled.

They each had a one-on-one aide during classes (an incredibly talented and caring staff). I wasn't sure if I was supposed to address the aides, or just look at the students. I wasn't sure what the students could understand, what kind of prompts I should give them, how to go about sharing and workshopping poetry. What should I do if one of them said something to me, and I didn't understand it? What if they couldn't do what I asked? Well, luckily for me, they gave me the time to figure it all out, and I trusted my instincts, and hoped for the best.

It will come as no surprise that what I learned is that I should give them the same kinds of prompts and ideas that I give my high school students. I learned that they like to hear ideas, to brainstorm together, and hear examples of poems before they are sent off to write, just like my high school students. They laugh with each other, and laugh with me, and make fun of me, just like my high school students.

Over the course of my time there, they started to trust me. They started to see themselves as writers. We developed inside jokes. They shared their fears, their dreams, their hopes for their futures. They wrote about loved ones who had died, people who make them angry, pet peeves, favorite foods. In so many ways, they were similar to all of my students. I actually remember a moment half-way through the first summer when I realized that I wasn't seeing them as disabled people anymore, just people.

These students also surprised me, and made me much more aware of sensitivities I should have already had. They are frustrated that many people don't treat them like adults. They are sad that children are often afraid of them. At night when they sleep, they all (unanimously) dream that they can walk, run, and dance, even though none of them has ever taken one step.   It makes them mad when passersby look at the person pushing their wheelchair, and not directly at them. They just want to be seen as normal, to be seen as people, not people in wheelchairs.

They love writing, and loved becoming poets. They truly started to see themselves as poets over the months we worked together, and they crafted some amazing work. On Wednesday night, they each read 2 poems to an audience of 40 people. At the reading, they surprised me with two poems they wrote about me. I cried.

They did great, and the audience was appropriately awed by their work.

This is the student with whom I worked one-on-one for 2 summers, and I helped him to read his poems at the reading. I don't have a lot of photos of me teaching, but this one would have to be my all-time favorite. Such a kind, gentle, gracious soul. And funny, too!

I truly cannot think of a non-cliche way to summarize all that I learned in order to end this post, so I'll just say this. I hope they have me back next summer.

Today might have been the last day of summer.

2011-08-23T18:11:00.002-04:00

The temperatures have started to dip a little bit, the air feels more crisp, and I am ready (excited, even!) for school to start. For most of the summer, I feel that this freedom plan could never be long enough, but inevitably each year, I start to feel ready to go back to school by mid August. Don't get me wrong, I have so much to do to actually get ready, but I look forward to a classroom full of new kids, brand new school supplies, and stacks of books. I'm ready for some routine again. And I am totally thankful that I have a job that gives me an opportunity to RESET every single summer.

This morning Susan and I ran with a bunch of former students; we love to make the college kids wake up early. They are all leaving for college in the next week so we said goodbye for now. What a great crew. See you all on Thanksgiving morning at the Turkey Trek, if not sooner!

After a 3 mile trail run with these guys, I tacked on 2 more on my own afterward.

I am going to work tomorrow and Thursday, and then the following week is basically a full week, so today was kind of the last day when we found ourselves thinking: "what should we do today?" That's not going to happen again for a while.

We decided on a drive to Sandy Point beach. It was so beautiful and cool, and we had the place to ourselves! Jackson ran 5 miles with me this morning and then ran and swam himself silly at the beach, so he is currently snoring on the couch.

Here are some pics from today.

Back to reality! I am super busy organizing an evening reading this week for the creative writing students I've been teaching all summer, and Sparrow Magazine is one week away from launch. I've had a lot of late nights in the last few weeks working on pulling this all together, not to mention getting ready for the school year.

My business partner (and life-long friend) Kelly and I cannot wait to show you Sparrow Magazine's first issue. It is full of such good stuff, and we will be very proud to share it on September 1st.

Beach day is over, now it's work, work, work time. Hope you're having a good week!

Suzapalooza

2011-08-21T09:41:00.001-04:00

For several summers in a row now, we've celebrated our friend Suzanne's birthday at their camp on Schoodic Lake. Last year, our friend Matt dubbed it "Suzapalooza" and it stuck. Suzapalooza always involves great people, great food, and the bittersweet realization that summer is on its way out. But what a gorgeous day we had.

This year also included a very spirited round of frisbee catching off the dock. We laughed and laughed and had lots of not-so-graceful jumps and misses.

This one makes me laugh because neither of us caught the frisbee.

Reed tried probably 25 times and never made the catch, but he flung his body off that dock with such spirit and abandon; it was a joy to watch. Next year, Reedo, next year.

the shot of the day!

After all of Suzanne's jumps, she finally caught the frisbee. I don't have any good mid-air shots of her, but this one takes the cake. This photo totally captures Suzanne. A happy birthday indeed.

With Ange, Suz and Sandi. Great, great friends on a beautiful summer day.

And Ange with baby Beckett.

Skyler was not feeling great after having been sick on Friday. She took it easy for the day, but totally perked up with Sandi's sister Kristy painted her nails. I see that little smile!

We ended the night with a local firework show and the kids were up until 10:00 pm. I got up early and ran 8 miles with Susan and her husband Liam, and when I got home at 8:45, the kids were still asleep. Miraculous!

This is officially my last week of summer. I'm off to make a batch of blueberry waffles.

Have a great Sunday!

What's for Dinner?

2011-08-20T07:43:00.003-04:00

While in Michigan, my sister-in-law Lisa and I cooked up a Mexican feast for the family.

Enjoy the last weeks of summer with this very summery meal!

Start with these frozen Mojitos, the taste of which pretty much defines summer for me.

In a blender, combine 1 cup rum, 1/3 cup sugar, 1/2 cup fresh lime juice, and 12 mint leaves with 4-5 cups of ice. Blend, and pour into a sugar-rimmed glass and garnish with lime and mint. Cold, sweet, slushy goodness.

For dinner, Lisa and I made Black Bean and Corn Salad, Lime Cabbage Salad, and Chicken Fajitas.

Black Bean and Corn Salad
Combine 2 cans of black beans, rinsed
Corn, cut off from 3 cobs (cooked)
1 red pepper, diced
5 scallions, chopped
1/2 red onion, diced
a handful of cilantro, rough chopped

make the dressing with:
1/4 cup lime juice
1/4 cup good olive oil
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp cumin
2 cloves of garlic, mashed
salt and pepper to taste

Mix all together.
just before serving, add 2 small tomatoes, diced and 1 avocado, cubed.

The fajitas and the cabbage salad recipe we got over here. I also made a batch of guacamole by mixing 2 avocados with lime juice, salt and pepper, fresh salsa, and some dashes of Tabasco.

We warmed up some whole wheat tortillas and piled the chicken, onions, and peppers inside with a dollop of salsa and guacamole. You can also put the cabbage salad right in the tortilla.

This really is a perfect summer meal, and I think I need to make it again this week. Enjoy!!!

Westside Boards Winner!

2011-08-17T17:55:00.000-04:00

#6 is:

Congrats, Erica! Email me and I'll hook you up with the folks at Westside Boards.

home.

2011-08-17T14:13:00.002-04:00

Nothing like 10 days away (plus one extra day after an airport mishap) and a long day of traveling to make you really appreciate being home.

We were supposed to leave at 6 am on Monday, so we got the airport at 5am, which means we woke up the kids at 3:30. When I started to get Reed dressed while he was still sleeping, he said: "It's the middle of the night. Are you serious?"

When we checked our bags, we were told to hurry up and get in line for security, so we did. The line was the longest security line I've ever seen, wrapping around the entire (small) airport. It became clear we were going to be cutting it close because the line was also slow moving. We finally got through security and ran for the gate, and arrived at the counter at 5:55. They had just closed the doors. And they weren't opening them. Yes, we begged.

I figured, okay, a few hours extra in the airport. But we were told: We can only guarantee you seats on tomorrow's flight at 6 am.

So, Sam's poor father, who had just arrived home after driving the hour back from the airport, turned around and picked us up again. Our luggage was on its way to Maine, so I took the kids to the mall and got new bathing suits for everyone. We went back to the beach for the day and enjoyed lots of sunshine (and I had seen it was raining in Maine), ate pizza with Sam's parents for dinner, and then set our alarms for 3 am. In the big picture, it wasn't a bad deal. We got to the airport earlier the next morning. While standing in line, Reed kept saying, exasperatedly, "I think we are going to miss the bus again!" But this time, we had no trouble getting through in time. Live and learn.

We had a 3 hours layover in Baltimore and the kids were officially loopy-tired and acting like wild animals. They were crazy. Patient Mommy was no longer traveling with us; she was replaced by Easily-Annoyed Mommy.

Sam and I both wanted to sleep, and our kids wanted to do this:

On the next flight, Skyler fell asleep but Reed was in his worst possible form. He was soooooo wiggly and kept screaming spontaneously. He probably kicked the seat in front of him 1000 times. What is a mom to do? He could not control his legs. I could not get him to stop. I was "that mom who can't control her child."

I wished that I had thought to make up some little apology cards: "Please forgive our over- active and disruptive child. We woke him up at 3:30 two days in a row. He's actually a pretty good kid." I would have stapled a few of them to $20 bills and passed them out to the people who had to sit near us.

When the last flight landed, I said to the woman in front of him: "I am so sorry that my child kicked your seat for the entire flight." She said: "That's okay. It was kind of like a back massage." See? There is hope for humanity.

We arrived in Portland, found our bags lickety-split, took a cab to our friends' house where our car was parked, and drove 2 hours home while Reed slept the entire way. Phew. Done. Home. Amen.

We picked up a beautiful bounty from our farm share yesterday, filled our fridge with groceries today, and are generally feeling very happy on this beautiful, sunny, crisp fine Maine day.

Not even 2 weeks of summer left. I'm going to squeeze every last drop out of it.

Michigan trip: fitness edition

2011-08-14T23:15:00.000-04:00

One thing we do a lot of while we visit Michigan is eat really good meals. Every night there is something on the grill, tons of farmer's market veggies, especially corn, and great beer. Happy hour is a big thing in this house, too, so there are always things like cheese, hummus, dips, crackers, salsa, guacamole, and veggies out for snacking.

This year there was also a ton of exercising going on. I ended up with a very solid week of training considering I'm on vacation, and kept the happy hour munching under control.

I mentioned earlier that Susan, a family friend, was here from Texas. Susan and her family lived 2 doors down from Sam growing up; she used to babysit him and has hundreds of hilarious stories about Sam and Lisa's antics as little kids. She is not at all surprised that Reed is Sam's child.

Anyway, Susan is a runner, biker, and swimmer and overall active superstar. She just did a marathon this spring, and is training for a half-Ironman. Needless to say, we had lots to talk about and really enjoyed hanging out this week. She's on an extended road trip and brought her own and her husband Ed's bikes with her, so I got the rare chance to do a bike ride here on these awesome, smooth Michigan roads.

We rode 20 miles along the lake, and it was soooo beautiful. Susan is speedy so I rode faster than normal (16.9 mph, really good for me). What helped is that Ed's bike is a beautiful carbon-fiber road bike and I felt like I was flying. When we came back and I walked in the door, Sam saw my face and said: "Oh, boy." Yep. I want a new bike.

Hey Ed, thanks for letting me ride your bike. And thanks for letting me use your shoes, too. Did you know that I rode in your shoes?

Riding 20 miles without bike shorts? I don't really recommend that.

How light are these bikes? This light.

Another event for the week was a 1.5 mile swim race in Lake Michigan that Sam and Susan had signed up for. Turns out the race was pretty disorganized AND it was further confused because of stormy weather. In the end, the course was super short, no more than 1/2 a mile, and everyone was pretty disappointed. I can relate: Imagine gearing up for a half marathon, and then finding out the course was only 5 miles? Anyway, they made the best of it.

Hmmm.. this is the starting line for the race. Yikes.

the start

Sam's finish: 2nd overall. 1st overall without a wetsuit.

Susan's finish. 3rd in age group. Go Susan!

Right after the swim race, we came across a young woman doing a fundraiser for World Vision, an organization that provides access to clean water in Africa. She's raising money and training for the Chicago Marathon, so she and her sweet family set up a 2-mile course and wanted to get enough people to run it to cover 26 miles. Naturally, we signed up to run, donated some money, and got t-shirts.

Lisa, Susan and I ran the 2 mile course, and ended up completing miles 25 and 26 for this runner. What a great idea.

Yesterday, Lisa and I ran to the beach and back, for a total of 7.5 miles. That's actually the longest I've run since the marathon, and it felt great.

Susan also brought an ocean kayak with her, and we had a pretty wavy day at the lake to test it out.

Susan took each kid out for rides. They totally loved it (and they totally love her).

And lastly, a few more shots of our time here.

And now, back to Maine!

Michigan Days

2011-08-14T11:08:00.000-04:00

Girls Only lunch date on the water: Susan, Skyler, Lila and Lisa.

I drive everywhere here because I love to drive the enormous, floaty car named "the whale."

Just another beautiful day at the beach.

dramatic stormy skies at Holland State Park

Skyler with her Aunt Lisa: kindred spirits

The crew on our fancy dinner date. Kids are with a babysitter. Woot!

Have no fear, I've got another whole batch of photos to sort through and post.

Tomorrow we travel back to Maine. It's a beautiful day, and we're off for one more run to the beach!

Don't forget to enter the giveaway for the cute kid's growth chart over here.